Rented a car yest. Baby wasnt feeling well in the morning. Wanted to fetch her but she wasn't really happy abt it. Still worried I decided to wait for her at her hse. At first, didnt want to go up to her. Just wish to see that she reaches home safely will do. But seeing her being so restless, I just walked her up her hse and left to buy something after a while.
Jason came over my hse and we had lunch and Simpang. Went Whitesands to get sour plums for Baby coz I scared she will feel giddy or nauseous in the car. Fetched her and down to town to fetch Jocelyn. Nick came over to meet us later. Haiz. We can nv go out as 3 pairs. At least one of us will quarrel when we wanna meet up.
Dinner at Marina and it sucks big time. Seriously!! I know Baby dun feel full just that she is too lazy to eat already. Coz I am not even full how can she be full... LOL! In the end, all fed up and went to Bugis for dessert. Went Hougang for K box and left at 3a.m. Many thoughts ran thru my mind in the room. I asked myself whether should I talk to her. I was really confused at that time. In the end, I still dun have the courage to speak up to her. I just typed everything in a long msg and asked her to read.
At first, I was thinking what will she say after reading the msg. In the end, it's just words like "How you know?". My mind went blank. I just floored the pedal and overtook Nick who was right in front. He thought I was racing with him n high beamed me coz Jason was at the back with Jocelyn and could not go fast. But I really dun wish to care. I just wan to get out of the car and scream my heart out loud!! But when I stopped at the traffic light, I held her hand, I cooled myself down. When I sent her home, the hug was all I needed the most this weekend. Thanks Baby!! Other than this, I really enjoyed the night being with her. Love you very much baby!! I will really cherish you!! I promise! Jia you!!
Many times, my heart really aches so much when I learnt about some things. Even when I want to cry, my tears are so stubborn. They just refused to roll down my cheeks. This feeling is really terrible. I have been praying all these while. Is it because I am not sincere enough that's why all my prayers are not answered? I dun wish to have such feeling anymore!!
Life in camp getting more fun now as we r getting closer to the instructors now. But the training part, its getting tougher. Went into the gas chamber on Thursday. Woots!! That's a good experience. But after getting out of the gas chamber, I have second thoughs of becoming a fire fighter. Haha. 5 more weeks to POP. Cant wait and time pass really fast now.
Met Baby for dinner last night before meeting Cpl Shairul and other camp mates. Sat down at Changi Beach for some chatting sessions. Heard many stories about the camp and many other individual stuffs. Went to Old Jap School. Its eerie over there but other much to see as well. Proceed to Seletar Camp and went to see all the private jets. Its cool there and a nice place to relax if you have a car. I felt so unwell suddenly. Maybe due to the jerking and turning round n round at Seletar. Supper at Jalan Kayu and homed.
Many things have been in my mind since last week. I kept myself away from all the thoughts by pushing myself very hard in camp. In the end, I collapsed yest. My left leg gave way. Ankle and knee hurts and it ended in cramps during training. Baby helped me too by having long sessions on the phone at night which made me felt so happy. But whenever I have free time, the thoughts came back. Is this the reason y I kept losing my stuffs in camp? I wanna say things out but dunno how to say and just hope that thoughts will just go off and things will turn well. But how long must all these things go on. I really wish to know.
Baby, everything I need is you. My beginning and my forever.