Things were alright for 2 days. But I happened to see a msg she sent to him with the intention of rejecting him. But from my pt of view, it is trying to ask him not to give up indirectly. The msg goes something like this, "I tink u really dun suit me. When I needed u most, where are you? U are always so busy with ur activites. U are always not there for me. But it's my ex bf. At least he appreciates my existence." When I read this, I was damn pissed. It tells me that when he's not free to acc her, then she will come n find me. And when I told this to my frenz, all ans me in one voice. "If I receive such kind of msg, I will not give up. I will work harder and treat her better." But she juz dun get the point. She still insist she is rite. Nvm.. forget abt tt. On the same nite, I happened to see a msg from him... saying how she listen to his heartbeat when she held him. It makes me wonder what has the both of them done behind me. All her words dun tally with his. I dunno which words of hers to trust. But I still gave in.
The nxt morning is the day where the war starts again. She woke me up in the morning knowing I have a briefing. She didnt ans my calls after tt. As the lecture hall has no reception, I can onli read her msg after the briefing. She said I was busy looking at gers. WTH!! For 3 mths when I was having attachment, I didnt dare to go out for lunch with colleagues becoz I noe she will tink tt I m with gers. Now back to sch.. she is giving me all these again. When can I live my life peacefully and be a MAN??!! She even msged tt guy when I was not with her. It makes me wonder.. Y she say she wont reply him when I m around. But without me, she replied him. N she expect me to find her when we both quarrelled till so badly. When I find my frenz, she said they are more impt. I kept asking her where is she, she dun wanna tell me. Yet in the nite, she emailed me saying I didnt even bother to go airport to fetch her when I didn't even noe where the hell she is.
On Friday, it was worse. I told her to come n find me n frenz when I noe she was unhappy with her interview. I was on the way to meet my frenz so I asked her to join me. She expect me to fetch her and said my frenz are more impt. Saying that I dun even bother to cr for her even though I noe she was unhappy. Eh.. Hello!! I did asked u to find me.. but u dun wan!!! Then when I noe she is hungry, I even came home to pack my dinner down for her. I didnt even had my dinner. She dun appreciate it.. I tried to talk things out.. But she became so unreasonable and things ended up in a quarrel. I asked her to sort out her feelings after her mid sem tests and think abt wat she wans and talk things out after tt. She agreed. She then told me she was studying at Bedok macs. Fine.. I tried to trust her. I warned her many many times not to lie again. Coz she can nv lie to me. I noe her every move. So I ran out of the hse to Bedok central to check on both the macs twice each! But she wasn't there. Before that, I've told her I will go down. She asked me to.. said she wasn't afraid. She took advantage of the fact tt I m on probation. I kept calling her but no response. When she finally answered, I still warned her not to lie to me. But she continued. She insists that she's at Bedok inter's mac. So I asked her to tk a pic and send it to me. But she didnt and didnt ans my calls. In the end, she called and admit she wasn't there but at another mac with tt guy!! I was damn pissed. I swear I can kill someone. If my mum didnt stop me from going out after changing, I swear, there is no remainings for the both of them though I noe tt guy was innocent. but who give a fuck. I tok to him nicely, he was sarcastic and xia lan!! Kept pestering her. DIE is the word!! When I told yang, he wanted to go down without me but I stopped him.
Back home now. She msged me saying she has gastirc problem asking me to acc her to the doctor. Sometimes, I wonder.. Y does she msg or call me onli when she is alone? M I a sub? a spare tyre? She even told me she noe who is most impt in her hrt and that she loves me. But its all too late. Nobody has the ability to turn back the time. Not even GOD!!
To you: I've given u many many chances. But you took them for granted and lied and lied again and again. I've had enuff. Dun tell me how much ur popo likes me all tt and wish us all the best. It's all to late. Nth can go back anymore. When I m saving, u r destroying. U took advantage of me. U treated me as a fool. I haf been a fool for so long. I've had enuff. No pt praying to the stars and all. No pt telling the stars that u have lost someone u love, someone who cares n appreciates u. No pt staring at the stars tinking of the past. It's all over!! I give up!!! Tk cr of urself! Any problems, wanna see doctor, dun have to tell me. I cant do much. Tell him or ur mum. Tts it.. Bye!!