♥
Suddenly I felt really useless. I dunno y. Ever since that dreadful sat nite.. Nth has been smooth for me. Baobei said that I haf been thinking negatively ever since then. I dun deny tt. I can nv forget the eyes and tears I saw on her face tt very nite. Till now, I still cant forget. I felt so useless. I can nv be there to hug her when she needed someone to care for her most. She was so near yet so far tt nite. I kept shaking my head asking her not to cry.. All she could do was to fake out a smile to me.. Baobei.. I m really very sorry. I brought so much upon u.. I caused to stay up whole nite.
After tt day, every little thing she do, I will get angry. Whenever she is wif her frenz, I hope to receive a call or sms from her. When I didnt, I will get angry. I dunno y. I felt so useless. The feeling of her turning into another person became stronger as each day passes. Although she is always there to assure me, but I still cant feel secured. I felt so useless. I felt that everyone including her is just looking down on me. Even my parents!! I hate this feeling. All I need most right now is her to be by my side to give me her support. I need her hugs!! I wanna feel the warmth which she always give me. I wanna feel loved once again..!!! Whenever she is down, I juz hope to be by her side. Cheering her up, seeing her smile makes me so happy. I was in the airport today. I was like very moody. I dunno y. Onli her smiles can make me happy. SO i did lots of stupid stuffs. I dun mind being a clown in others' eyes juz to make her smile. I want her to be happy!! She is leaving Singapore for half a mth during hols. I cant even acc her coz of my fucking attachment. How m i going to live for that 15 days? without her hugs n kisses? I wanna hold the small little hand of hers everyday. Nobody to make breakfast for me anymore. Nobody to hug me when I m down. HOW?!!!
1:09:00 AM
