CheRisH uR LoveD OnEs befOrE it's tOO LatE..

2009-12-15T09:12:00.002+08:00

What the hell am I doing? I really dunno. I know where my heart is.. But its just too late now. I hate it!!!! ARGHHH!!!!

2009-08-02T01:55:00.012+08:00

you are still missed everyday. though i noe that things will nv be the same again. tears dropped. glad you are doing good! tk cr. you are the one i love most too....

2009-07-27T15:39:00.002+08:00

Everything has ended!! But it's the same as many r/s. Someone must hate the other. I chose to be the one being hated. It's hard to make this choice.. But.. I still have to. For the sake of both of us. Life was hard for me when we just started. Felt like being a third party and loving someone alone is so so difficult. For half a yr, I kept mum abt it. I knew I love you. I have to give in. Yes. I finally touched your heart. You finally loved me. But how long did it last? Wherever we go, whatever we do, some of ur past still haunts u. I kept quiet. I was praying hard everyday that all these things will be gone very soon... But nope. It will NEVER go!! I will still be compared to him. Even though u say no but i can still feel it. But where can I express all these feelings?? To u?? To my friends?? None!!! NOBODY!!! When you are unhappy, you can just rant and throw temper at me. Easily... But can I do the same? In every r/s, we give and tk. But I give in most of the time. I did said before that I wont giving in as it will avoid arguments. But you seem to take everything for granted. I cant say much oso. You have high pride. I myself as a guy can put down my pride and tk the initiative to solve the problems between us. Even when I m not at fault. But you? NOPE!! Not once. You still wanna show your attitude. Show others how u treat me. Not the first time you tried to embarrass me in front of ur frenz. What's the point of trying to solve the problems when you didnt want to in the first place? It's too late.. I tried to solve it. You didnt want to. I gave you more than a week! But u didnt bother. ITS ALL TOO LATE!! Seriously I have never done anything wrong to u and never will. I can say that. Just treat it that we can nv be happy together. We are not fated. You are better off without me. I m possessive. Go ahead with your new life. Enjoy with your frenz n him. Every r/s, there must be a bad guy. Let me be the one. The secret will never be revealed. Tk care of yourself my love. You will always be remembered....

2009-06-07T15:13:00.008+08:00

It's been a long time since I open up this... Since I have the time now, shall update it again.. Two weeks ago was my Footdrill Competition. It had been a tiring past 2 months for me. Have to go thru night drill and stayed up polishing and ironing. Inspect all the recruits uniform to make sure everything is in tip top condition. The pressure is there for me to handle. Being the defending champions for 3 consecutive intakes, it was really difficult for me... When my encik told me to take up the Platoon Sergeant role, I told myself I have to give my best. Luckily there's my colleagues esp Shahrul who helped me out alot. N oso my beloved Baby giving endless support throughout the whole competition... and of coz... the squad members who are very cooperative and learnt things very fast..I was really shocked and at the same time very happy. The night before the competition was a tense moment. Coming back to camp as early as 5, I prepared myself with lots of honey. I prayed hard that all the 36 recruits will turn up as for the past few intakes, the recruits are not willing to book in earlier. But they actually booked in early!! We had to stayed up till 2 plus to prepare everything. Actually I wanted to slp after 12 but the recruits' boots and uniform are not done properly yet haf to stay up n helped them. 2 plus I couldn't take it anymore. Shahrul helped me stay up till 4 plus to help them. Actual day was even worse. Butterflies in my stomach. Took a cold bath. Honey. Walked like a zombie to the waiting area with the starched uniform. I was so afriad that I will miss some commands and that the atmosphere will be very tense. But when it started, it turned out as if it was just a training session. I was calm. The guys were calm. Everything ended smoothly and beautifully. Results time!!! We did it again!!!!!! We took all 3 prizes!! Best platoon sergeant, Best platoon commander and of coz BEST FOOTDRILL SQUAD for the 4TH INTAKE STRAIGHT!!! I finally can put my heart down and wait for my ORD peacefully!! First time a chinese guy win Best PS!! WOOTS!!!

2008-12-26T21:55:00.008+08:00

Hey hey!! Merry Christmas!!!

This year is our second year celebrating christmas together. Life has been wonderful and this whole week is very fulfiling!! Away from work since last friday which was also Baby's last day of SIP!! Christmas shopping for friends and family members. Our pockets are saved from having a bigger hole by her mum's Taka vouchers. Haha!!! Sunday was supposed to be our chalet. But in the end, all my relatives went over to stay and play mahjong. In the end, Baby and I went home in the evening and bought all the stuff for BBQ the next day. Went back to chalet on Monday. Aunts and uncles left le and we had BBQ with her frenz. The food was too much for the 4 of us. In the end, we had to throw away some of them. LOL!! Its the first time we go the fire started in less than 5 mins. Lol!! Baby wanted to stay for one more day hence I extended it without asking for her approval when I noe the price is a bit too steep. Lol. Coz I noe she will not want to stay one. So I dun care! Hehe.... Was asked to go back camp for the recruits' final exercise before they pass out. But luckily I didnt go back. Coz it was cancelled at the end due to some misunderstandings. Baby bought a lot of bangles at the D Marquee. We bought shirts for my father and her grandfather. Baby and I wanted to go Escape but I didnt bring extra shirt so in the end we ended up at K Box. Ended up playing Mahjong in the room with our frenz in the end till late night. We only had Subway for dinner in the evening and my silly ger didnt tell me she's hungry. In the end suffered from gastric the next day. Dad went to fetch us up and went for breakfast. She went for Medi and Pedi. I was told that it was just $55 only but in the end, it ended up $106 dollars. And I was kept in the dark until I asked her. Bought mummy's present and went for dinner with them. Mummy's treat. We went for our long waited photoshoot. That stupid shop told us to reach at 12 noon sharp. In the end we had to wait till 12.30. When we reached, there's a Indian family already having their shoot since 10. And the ppl there were very unhappy with them. Imagine we finished our shoot, they are still having their last outfit shoot. They say its easier to help us take. Of coz la!!! Indians are too troublesome and picky. Walked around the place and found the place so cool!! Can still find the Barber in the old days. Met J couple for Japanese buffet for dinner and exchanged gifts. Jason is a young and dangerous driver. I must say that Baby and myself cannot even feel the Christmas atmosphere at all. Its just like a normal day to us. Nothing special at all!! is it becoz of the economy crisis??? I'm sorry baby!! I promise you I'll give you a better christmas next year k??? Muackz!!! N dear dear wanna tell you something... I have been very sensitive for the last two weeks. I am sorry. I promised it wont happen again. Muackz!! I love you forever! I'm really very happy and fortunate to have u by my side all these while. Nobody has made me such a happy person!!! Muackz!!! I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!!

2008-10-25T18:32:00.008+08:00

Life with Baby is always full of joy and laughter. Time flies and we have been together for more than a year now. We have gone thru many fights, quarrels, misunderstandings and of coz good and sweet times to come this far. Till now, I still feel like I am still living in my dreamland. She has been such a wonderful gf to me all these while. I would say that she is the best gf ever. Nobody can be compared to her.

With all our quarrels cut to the minimal, life has been great so far. She has started her internship at OCBC. Everyday after camp, would go to Raffles to pick her up and have dinner before going home. It becomes a routine as both of us will be very tired every nite. Seeing her like tt hurts me alot too. Sometimes I would tk half day just to acc her for lunch. Muackz. Baby. Endure.. 2 more months and it will be thru...

We has just celebrated our first anniversary last month. It was a tiring day for me as the nite before I didnt slp due to the Home Team Real Run and it ended at noon on our special day. I rushed down to her house immediately after bathing. I received my present. It was so heartwarming. Handmade album by my dearest girl. It is so so sweet and very funny.

We had our post anniversary dinner at Indulgz last week. Baby's idea coz she wanted to treat me. The food there was ok. Only the surprise baby gave me made me happy. She planned everything before hand with the person in charge. N I thought nothing much becoz she told me their idea was lame. The portion of food was small and it taste very ordinary. Nothing special. Then come my dessert. Eating halfway, I bite on something seems like a straw. I wanted to complain so I licked it to double confirm it not white choc. It was only then I realised that I was a written note by Baby... She even tried to act blur in front of me and cant stop laughing when I saw it... Muackz. i love it alot baby!! Muackz!

Our first neoprint was taken on that night too. She felt weird taking it as it is her first time taking with Bf. So she told me we cant have any kissing poses. I cant hug her from the back only she can. Haha. It feel so great when she hug me.. I dunno why. Just the feeling. It cant be described. All in all. Baby is the best!!!

Baby, after one year of fighting and quarreling with sweet times too, we got to understand each other better than ever. We have learned to give in to each other and wont pick up a fight over the slightest matter. Muackz. I really wanna thank you for staying by my side all these while and showering me with ur love for this one whole year. Muackz. There are still many many years for us to go. 09/09/09 will be the day baby!!! Muackz!! I love u so much baby!!!

2008-08-25T21:58:00.004+08:00

One month has just passed without me realising and there goes my another intake of recruits. They have become rescuers now. 4 more intakes to go before I can say BYE BYE to NS life. It really sucks to the core. The pay is so fucking low and you have to work under the supervision of so many higher rankings and working with the fear of getting charged for the stupid minor things which you thought was not wrong at all.

Anyway, enough of camp life and now its down to my two weeks camp break again and I should be able to clear my OIL to enjoy with baby once again. LOL!! Have been spending lots of time and going several places with baby. Been taking OVL just to spend time with her and we actually got burnt by the sun when we went WWW two weeks ago. Baby actually accompanied me to my fellow instructors' gathering at Sentosa. And she did not kept quiet over there which I was so happy. At first I thought she might get bored and get pissed off with me but she didnt. That shows what a good gf she is. She is really the best GF I've ever had. Seriously. She is really very understanding and supportive in everything I do. What touches me most was last week she came all the way down to Boon Lay to fetch me. But I was called for a meeting at the last minute and it lasted for almost an hour. She waited there and didnt even throw her temper at me. The week before when i went to play mahjong with J couple and Nick, though I said I didnt wanna go coz she might get bored, she asked me to go ahead and acc me there. She just sat next to me and watch me and the next day when I played again, she just sat in the room and read storybook. She is my lady luck and i won quite a lot on that one weekend. Baby also started off her first driving lesson after so long and she can drive quite well. The instructor even praised her. LOL. Now she have to wait for her BTT so she can go onto the road to gain more experience and be more confident in driving. We have also signed up for a couple photoshoot at a bridal roadshow at TM last week. Gonna have our own portfolio of our love journey for this one year. Shall take the photos on our first anniversary. Cant wait for that day!! The last weekend was spent at Clarke Quay. We visited Clarke Quay for two consecutive days. Baby found a new shopping paradise at Central. She bought a blouse, belt and a pair of heels there. I swear she is like a big baby!! Like a small kid who has just got a new toy n get so excited over it. LOL!! She really look so so cute at that very moment. We went Clinic and hopped on to Crazy Elephant. Though its just the both of us, but everything is so wonderful with just her by my side. Muackz!! I love you baby!! Today baby went for her interview and she found out that the company was such a KOK company. They specialises in programming which baby has long forgotten how to do it. Her interview was just to complete a worksheet on programming given to her. What kind of interview is that man!! She came down to fetch me again and had dinner at City Link. Gastric hit her again and we cabbed home.

This is for you my dearest lovely Baby!! Muackz. Next week we will be celebrating our 11th month. i know it's not very long to you but we have gone thru so much to be together. From me admiring you secretly 2 years back to now holding your hand and builing our future slowly. You are the best gift GOD has given me. Though you may feel that I might not mean what I say but i wanna tell you that, I am really very serious with this relationship. You are really the best. All the other girls are really nothing compared to you. Though you might have a bad temper at times, but you threw it at the right time. You threw it becoz I was unreasonable to you. You were so understanding and supportive towards me. You have never once failed to bring joy and laughter to my daily life. I have done so so much in order to make you love me wholeheartedly and hope it wont just stop here. Long goes the daily quarrels. We have learnt to give in to each other and love each other more now. Seeing you everyday really make me feel so so loved. With your hugs and kisses every night melts my heart. Waking up in the morning and able to see you still having your sweet dreams is the best thing that can happen. Like wat you says, you dun wan all these to stop even when we step out into the working society. Our love must be stronger and go thru all the obstacles that come in between us alright? Nothing's gonna break us up. I wan your trust baby. I promise you I wont doing anything unfaithful behind you and will never let you tear again. I promise. And never will I ever leave you unless you choose to.. Muackz!! I LOVE YOU FOREVER BABY!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!!

2008-07-06T15:11:00.008+08:00

It's been two months since I last blogged. Baby has been grumbling. Lol. So here I am blogging again while chasing her to brush her teeth and bathe. Dirty girl!! Hahha..

We have just celebrated our 9th month yest. Time really flies. In a blink of eye, we have come so far. Our love journey is full of ups and downs. But we have managed to overcome all the obstacles. We have fought over the slightest things. We got irritated and quarreled almost every week till we got sick and tired of it. Things were now talked out and we understand each other better now. So after all, quarrels are not always a bad thing to a relationship.

NDP this year was quite boring. Or should I say its becoz its NE show that why is not happening enough. It's like few of them still have not got their costume. During the show, the emcee is so quiet throughout. The best performance of the night was by the black knights. We left before it ends to avoid the human jam. Had dinner at Suntec and back home.

Met Baby and her frenz at Glasshouse after work on Fri to celebrate one of her frenz birthday. But it turned out that some of them were unhappy. Baby was the first one to get irriated by the live performance as it was too noisy. Then her friends were feeling emo. Haiz. In the end, it felt like just a normal dinner. Sian. Baby and I left them and had dinner at Cafe Cartel. Arcaded before heading home. Our weekends now are short nowadays but they are sweet and meaningful.

Baby... Thank you so much!! You have been really really sweet these days. I have been very happy. Though we still have some unhappy moments now and then, we would not be like in the past where we will have a big quarrel and fight. Everything now is done in a peaceful manner. Muackz. I just wish to tell u that no matter what happened and wat is in your mind, tell dear dear. Dun hide it from me ok? Coz I dun wish to see you cry anymore. When I see you crying in the car that night, it hurts me and made me felt useless. Dear dear might not be able to spend enough time with you due to the commitment in camp. But you have to trust me that everything I do, you are still in my heart and I will not do anything unfaithful to you alright. We have a very long way to go before walking down the aisle. There are sitll many things for us to overcome. I need you by my side to give me your support in everything I do. Remember this baby. Every little thing you do, I'm so in love with you. It will only get deeper. I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. You are always the best baby!! Muackz. I love you forever my dearest sweetest baby!!! Muackz!!

2008-06-05T20:54:00.002+08:00

People msged me wishing me happy birthday. But I wasn't happy at all!! It seem like just another normal day to me. I was not a bit happy at all!! Not at all!! What have I done wrong to deserve all these? I really wish to noe. This was my wish just now. At least when I noe the reason, I will stop asking again n again. I dun even noe what's it abt!!! How you wan me to react? I am utterly disappointed!! Happy 8th Month Baby!!!

2008-05-17T14:30:00.001+08:00

FEELING DAMN FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!! REALLY FULL OF FIRE!!! NO WONDER HAVING FEVER AND HEADACHE!! ARGH!!!! FEEL LIKE SCREAMING OUT LOUD! FEELING SO FUCKING STRESSED!!!!ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!

I miss you!!

2008-05-08T20:10:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldn't be thinking so much. I tried to hold back all my emotions. Told myself that its nothing. They are just some things which are kept deep in ur heart for a long time and you finally let it out which will make u feel better. But the words used kept floating in my mind till I could not take it anymore and asked you. The way you reacted made me felt very disappointed. I dun tink any one who see such thing can take it so calmly and treat it as nth has happened. You knew that I was sensitive. U knew from the moment you wrote that, I will be angry or upset. If not u wont send me that sms. But to be honest, I'm not angry at all. I'm just purely upset. Maybe to you, they are just nth. If you put yourself in my shoes and read it again, you will feel that it is abit too much. I tried to hold till I see you tonight to talk to you. I knew we will quarrel if I asked you thru the phone. But I could not take it anymore. After all the msges you sent to me when I asked for an explanation, I could help it but let my emotions flow. All my lessons were conducted with a very low morale. Nth can help it anymore. Things weren't the same. I took my time to get out of camp today when I used to rush out. I stared blankly in the train instead of sleeping. I dragged myself home. Why are such things happening when things are all going right? My confidence level was there but you brought it all down once again. I know I should trust. You are tired of assurring me that things are alright again and again. You are scared in the past, I more afraid than you do now. I'm so afraid to lose you. Do you ever understand? It took me a very very long time to get with you and touched your heart and eventually put everything down. I finally feel the love from you. I felt so so loved. I have nv felt so loved before and whenever I thought to myself that I have finally have ur heart, such things happen. Baby, I'm sorry if you are angry becoz of my reaction towards it but you are soft hearted. So I'm afraid that things might happened and I'll eventually lose you. Do you get what I'm trying to tell you for the whole afternoon? No matter what, I love you!! And will always do.. I'm sorry. I'm going over to your place now, hope able to see you coz I really miss you since yest morning. F the camp duty!!

2008-04-28T00:57:00.007+08:00

Its Sunday again! Had a great weekend with my dearest gf. School has started for Baby and tml have to go back to camp again. Sian.. Dunno if able to come out to see her anot got nite lesson. I hate it when the recruits have the lighting units lessons.

Baby has been over at my place this weekend. Had dinner over at her place on Fri nite and came back home. Wanted to have Macs in the morning but both of us were juz too tired. In the end, I woke up in the morning to buy for her instead. Headed down to Sentosa in the afternoon. Visited Dolphin Lagoon, Underwater World, Songs of the Sea and lastly the Luge. Wanted to take photo with the dolphin but baby find the queue was too long and we had to rush to the Underwater World as it closes early due to a private event. There were so many Indians there and I even scolded one of them FUCK when she kept pushing me when boarding the bus. Everyone was so excited with the open roof bus. WTH!! Imagine how *melly they are and keep touching u!! How many bottles of dettols i need to wash it off man!! First time see my Baby was friendly. She even let an Indian guy go first when he kept pushing me and I got pissed. She didnt even get angry when a Chinese lady pushed her to get up. I was shocked to see that. Lol.

Had our dinner and walked along the beach before going for the Songs of the Sea show. It's very nice. The lightings, water jets, fire and fireworks are nice. Its not ex and really worth it. Better than the musical fountain. Sky ride and luge again at last. When we went to play the other time, Baby was so afraid. But this time round, she even tried to race with me. Blocking my way everytime I wanna over take her. Almost bumping me into the side of the road. Luckily I stopped on time. I chased her till I almost banged into the sign board in front of me. Lol. In the end, I still reached the end before her. haha!! Lousy!!

Was tired and cabbed home after the Luge. Was so tired that we knocked out before 1. Thats the earliest we slept whenever she came to my house. Lol. Drove to Katong to get her the egg tarts we wanted to eat for a long time. Lunch at Katong Laksa and headed down to Tamp Ikea. Wanted to buy a shelf for my locker as it was so so messy. Every time in between lessons, wanna change up, I cant find this or that. But can find. In the end, bought her a pillow. Want her to slp more comfortably and oso a bed for Pico. Lol. Back home to pass the car to my Dad and went Tamp to find her slippers but dun have her size. Cabbed down to Town for shopping. She finally bought her slippers at Taka. N she got her new wallet. Da feng shou!! Came home after dinner and waited for dad to come home. Took his car n headed down to Airport and supper at Popeyes. Walk around and headed home. Time is so precious with her during weekends as it passed very very fast.

Baby, I love it when it comes to weekends. Becoz I am able to hug u to slp and the first thing I see when I wake up is you. Time is never enough. Weekdays we only have a few hours together coz the travelling time back to the east takes me an hour or even more at times. Only weekends we can spend the whole day together provided I'm not on duty on Sundays. I wanna thank you for showering me with lots of love these few months. U have changed. In the past, you wont even bother much about me. When I say I might not be coming back, you are not affected. When we quarrel, you live normally. When I sounded unhappy over the phone, you wont bother to ask. When I look unhappy and in my thoughts you left me alone. But now.. Things are different. You care so much. You will miss me when you cant see me. U wanna see me everyday which u hate it so much in the past. When we quarrel, u will get over it in a while. And when I walked away when u asked me to leave, you get angry with me for not making you happy. When I am unhappy, you will make me tell u wat's in my mind. I am feeling so so fortunate now. Muackz. i love you baby!! You are the best!! You nv once failed to brighten up my day with your msg and ur smile. Though I always let my imagination run wild, you still assure me that things are fine. All I need is ur assurance and ur love. Thanks a lot Baby!!! I love you very very very very much!!

2008-03-23T18:04:00.006+08:00

Had a wonderful and sweet night yesterday. Met up with J couple for mahjong session with Baby. First time baby playing mahjong and we won. The time spent with her was sweet last night. Thats how I felt. Had a long talk before dozing off though we were very tired.

Today woke up feeling very uneasy. Till she got fed up and went back alone. I dunno why as well. Becoz I'm going back to camp tonite? Or becoz of some other stuff? I cant make it up myself as well. Things were always at the tip of my tongue but words just cant seem to come out. I wanted to tell her so much that I cant bear to go back camp. It's sunday and I cant spend the day with her. Yes. We have been spending the whole 3 weeks of my MC together and that should be more than enough. She told me that we shouldn't meet so often and absense will make hearts fonder. Yes, it's kinda true. I will miss her very much. Baby, I'm sorry. I've pissed u off once again. I dun mean it. I was having mood swings just now. Sorry.

My colleague just told me that Encik wasn't happy with my long MC. I find it ridiculous. Is he going to callenge the doctor? I wasn't the one who beg the doctor to give such a long MC. What can I do? Stupid right?!! Wanna post me out of the company becoz of this? What the fuck?!!! You are a fucking regular and I am a NSF. I am protected with a 60 days MC given by the govt. Fuck fuck fuck!!!

2008-03-22T01:25:00.005+08:00

Last few days of my MC. Going back to camp on Sunday night liao. My fractured hand is recovering but still cant carry heavy stuffs. Gonna miss the life which I had for the past 3 weeks. Being able to spend the whole day with my Baby is such a blessing.

On Wed, Baby and I went on a movie marathon. Rule #1, Leap Years and Step Up2 at one go. We have always wanted to have a marathon but only did it this time round. The movies were great. My precious is so sweet to hold my hand so tight for onli one movie, Rule#1. In the end, I realised is just becoz she is too scared. LOL! We have been going to the arcade lately. She is hooked onto the tennis game ever since we started playing on PSP. Now everyday she is trying to break my high score which she has done so and is showing off to me now.

Oh ya. We spent the 7th March weekend at SAF Yatch Club. It's a nice place to chill out. It's very quiet there. Nobody to disturb you. But for those who wanna have fun, pls dun go there. There's nothing much to do. We just eat, played arcade and went swimming. Our first time to jackpot room cost us $10 in less than 5 mins. Coz we dun even noe how to play. Just went to see how it is like. Lol. The arcade is cheap there. For just 20 cents per game. Baby wanted to get onto the banana boat but becoz of my hand, we went to swim instead. I noe she is very disappointed. Baby, I promise u we will play it one day ok? Muackz. The food there is nice but the price is a bit steep. We spent almost 200 bucks on both lunch and dinner. Really had a great weekend there with my girl by my side.

<3>

There were ups and downs between the both of us. Things turned ugly at times. But we managed to talk things out and I've learnt many things from each quarrel. I must admit that becoz of my hot temper, I almost ruin this whole r/s. I'll change for the sake the both of us. The dangerous period is gonna come soon. I've gotta prepare for it already. Baby.. No matter wat, I'll love you the same. Even like wat u said today, "hahaha.. YOU DIE!!" I'll still dote on you. It's my responsibility my dear. Muackz. Love you!!!

2008-02-23T14:09:00.003+08:00

After so long, i'm staying at home on a Saturday which I didn't wish to. But have no choice. Have not gotten back my slp ever since the Korea trip. Been meeting her almost everyday and we had watched 5 movies. CJ7, Ah Long, L, Juno and yesterday night we watched Fool's Gold. All were very nice. I must apologise to my precious for falling asleep in almost all the 5 shows due to my eyes and oso becoz I'm tired. I'm sorry baby.

Things were going on well between the both of us. Though there are ups and downs some where. Most of the time due to my stupidity but I really can't help it. The happiest days were the days in Korea. I really miss those days. She is super duper nice. Really love her so much till no matter what happen or how unreasonable she gets, I still keep it to myself. Dun really wanna flare up at her. Only at times when I insist on knowing what have I done wrong, I will get angry.

Last week was terrible week for me as we fought a few times. One of it was on Vday as my mind was else where and was thinking of something. Though it was just a simple meal on our very first vday, I'm happy to have her by my side. Just that my mind flashed back to the things written on the organiser and she exclaimed on the table no. 14. I kept quiet and she talks to me, I replied her half heartedly. In the end, she got angry and we fought. The quarrel lasted 15 mins and I told her everything in my mind. She confessed that I was rite the next day too. I just dunno what to do. The next one was oso becoz of almost the same thing. Becoz of table no. But this time round I dun wanna say anything much. But in the end, got into a fight too becoz I kept dozing off in the cinema. She got very angry. I dun blame her. I spent the night under her blk repairing her watch and slept on the bench.

This week was although a very relaxing week for us instructors, but I was feeling very moody. Every morning when I reached there, I felt like going back to see her. Seeing her everyday makes me feel so much better. On wed, she came down to fetch me coz my day ended late due to OC nite. Felt so happy. Lol. Thurs was their POP. N that's my first intake of recruits. Second intake coming in on 11th of March. Time flies. Yesterday was half day for all of us. Bought lunch for her and stayed there till 7 then went out coz her aunt came back from Aust. In the end, we could onli watched a movie and went back home. It doesn't end up well as I was a bit unhappy that she seems to be rushing home. She didnt allow me to send her up to her hse too which I was very worried as constructions are going on over there.

Baby, I'm gonna hold you tight and walk till the end with u. Though there are still some things which will always be part of our arguments, things will be fine if we sort them out calmly. We still have a long way to go. Do not keep any unhappiness to yourself understand my dear? Muackz. No matter wat, my love will still be the same. Love u!!

2008-02-13T23:53:00.008+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all. Sorry for the last wishing. Just came back from holiday on Sunday night.

Left for Korea on Tuesday morning. Had fun there esp with my precious girl beside me everyday. It feels so great to be able to see her the very moment I open my eyes in the morning. The trip is really tiring. Have to wake up early and the schedule is so packed. I hate this tour. It's like there is so little time for us to shop and keep rushing us. Baby got very irritated with the tour guide. Lol. Me too and oso my mum at times. It was real cold there and was snowing on the second day. N my poor baby. She slipped and fell and hurt her bum. Poor girl. Lol!! She's gonna kill me.

Think the both of us enjoyed the most was during skiing and the theme parks. Baby fell during skiing but she still looks cute. Only my sis skiied like a pro. This tour agency onli bought tickets for us to have 5 rides at both the theme parks. We were like very disappointed. The tour guide brought us to play some boring rides and left onli one ride for us to play on our own and was given onli an hour. Baby finally got to play roller coaster. Lol. Other agencies are providing their tour group unlimited access to the rides but ours did not. At the second theme park, though we were given 5 hours, Baby and I onli played two. The avg waiting time was like 1.5 hrs and it was too cold. I nv dared to play on the G drop. Until this time round, I acc my precious and I gave my first time to Korea. It was scary but fun. In the end we gave up playing due to the cold weather.

The last day was all on shopping. The first 3 days, Baby keep complaining that she has not spent a single cent and she is very unhappy. I told her she has not gone shopping. So on the 4th day when we had 1.5 hours of shopping, guess wat. she spent almost $200 just on clothes and bags. In the end, she still have to change more Korean currency on the last day for more shopping. We got ourselves a couple tee and thats the only thing I got for myself. So poor thing rite.. Coz the shirts there dun fit me at all. I dun have such good figure like them.

Reached home at 12 midnight on Sunday. Slept for 4 hrs and went back to camp. Till now, I am still very tired. Have not regained back my slp.

Baby.. Happy Valentine's Day. We are celebrating our first V day. There are lots more to come. Hope you will like the gifts I've given you. Thanks for the shirt baby!! Muackz. I love you!!

At times, I am still very sensitive over some matters. Like in Korea, I wanted to tell you some things but the words just cant to come out. Sometimes, the words you said might not mean anything to you. But to me, it reminds me of something else and I would think otherwise. And for just now, I am thinking of something too when you just walked away like that. I wish I can force myself to be selfish sometimes. Maybe it's good not to be so sensitive at times. But Baby, I really wish to thank you for showering me with your love and care. I finally realise the meaning of happiness after these few months. Muackz. I love u baby...

2008-01-13T22:19:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody!! After one damn long year.. I finally got back my long lost freedom!!! And Happy Birthday my beloved Mummy!!!

Went down to find my PO yesterday. Was waiting for the worse to come as I thought it will be extended or have to serve extra hours of community service or even worse, back to the damn court. Even msged Baby telling her I am worried. Her reply calm me down a little. When I saw the PO's smile on her face when she met me, I knew everything would be fine. All I did was kept apologising. She took out the pre termination slides, my big rock in me finally dropped. I am a free man from then on!!!! I swear if Baby was there that morning, I would have suffocated her by hugging her tightly. The first thing I did was msg her. Was still thinking whether to tell her when I fetch her from work. Told her when she asked me in the end. LOL!!

Fetched her from work and lunched at Thai Express. Baby treated me. Muackz. Thank you very much Baby. Shop around at PS for mummy's birthday prezzie. Wanted to get her a sexy lingerie but Baby was too shy to choose. In the end, decided on a card and a blouse for her. Bought Baby a Disney lucky 4-leaf clover which she likes alot. She lost the one she bought that time. Wanted to get one for her long ago but dunno which one she likes. So yest she chose herself. Got one for myself and mum too. Came back home and celebrated Mum's birthday. Baby became Mummy's drinking kaki last night. Lol.

Baby and I had a slight argument this morning. But everything was talked out. And I muz say I always get to know her better after every argument. Baby, I love you and things will be fine. I will walk thru every obstacles with you no matter how hard it is going to be. Muackz. Lunch at Yum Cha with family and Baby. A very heavy lunch. Prayed and back home. Baby stayed over to watch S'pore True Ghost Stories. Haha. She kept covering her eyes and screaming. So cute. Had dinner at inter n came home. Baby dun allow me to send her home as I was feeling nauseous. Wanted to insist but scared she gets angry again. So played safe. Haha..

Baby.. Thanks for being there for me all these while. Now that I'm free, we can have more time together. Remember, you will always be the most important person. Every available min I have, i will spend it with you. I assure you that you will only get happier as each day passes. I wont let you tear again. Baby. Give me your hand and let me walk with you alright? Dear dear love you!! Muackz.

2008-01-11T21:12:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year to all!!! Been sometimes since I last updated and Baby complained. Lol.

Finally I passed out as a recruit with the "Best Trainee" Award last Friday. Now, I am an instructor in the camp to the recruits. Being an instructor is not easy at all. A lot of stress is put on you. You have to endure the attitude of the recruits and live with the fear of getting ambushed by them if we punished them too much. You cant even bear to punish them when they are so close to you. Not good at all with a pathetic pay. Haiz.

Baby and I celebrated our 3rd month at Fullerton Hotel last Saturday. We had chocolate buffet that night. We are getting fatter already. Haha!! These 3 months were not very smooth sailing for us too. But we managed to make things right. I really appreciate Baby for being so understanding and being there for me when I need her. Something happened on that Sat night too. Baby was there with me the whole night. Thank you Baby.

Cant bear to leave her on Sunday night. And that silly girl actually wanted to acc me to camp the next morning. In the end, she was too tired and couldn't hear the alarm too. Haha.. But she still came down all the way down to Jurong Point to meet me at night. Silly girl but that's so sweet of her. Haha. Think she miss me.. lol. Had dinner and shop around. Wanted to send her back home but there wasn't enough time so I alighted at Kallang and went back to camp. Time spent with her always passes very quickly.

8/1/2008 Enlistment day for the new recruits. My first batch of recruits. Was worried that they are hard to handle. Luckily, they are all educated gentlemen and easier to talk to. They will obey the rules too. But there are still some black sheep. Was at a loss of what to do without any help from my fellow instructors. But everything still went smoothly.

9/1/2008 It's a slacking day for me. I simply sat in the office, ate, read newspaper, play PSP and slp the whole morning as the recruits went for talks. The only lesson for the day was also cancelled due to the heavy downpour. Baby came down to find me again. Was about to leave when I realised my recruits have not gone for dinner and my fellow instructors had all gone back. In the end, stayed back and sent them for dinner before meeting Baby. Poor girl. Was feeling a bit giddy due to the long ride and the crowd at the station. Had Billy Bombers and and bought a shirt for myself. Baby didnt want me to send her home. We sat in the park. N that idiotic girl made me thought she was angry when i joked with her saying if she dun come down I can go meet my friends. She just refused to hold me and walked away. She shared a cab back. In the cab, she refused to hold me as well. In the end, she was just acting to be angry. What an idiot!! LOL!! Baby.. Dun take that to heart ok? Dear dear just cant bear to see you taking the long ride to Boon Lay after a long day in school then going back alone again. Thats why I said that. Sorry. Muackz. 10/1/2008 Another slack day for me. Slping and eating only. Bad thing about being an instructor is that, I would have no chance to train myself anymore. One day can have up to 5-6 meals. LOL!! Left the camp earlier than the supposed time. Luckily didnt get caught. Went back to Tampines to find my dearest sweetie. Had dinner with her and acc her to study. Lazy girl always dun wanna study unless I push her. Study like an hour and she says she is done with it. Clever hor?? Went back to school to return the textbk and walk to reservoir. We climbed out to the reservoir as the gates were locked. We sat there and talked about some things. I have finally got the answer to the question I asked her long long ago. I love you baby! 11/1/2008 Book in early in the morning. Not enough slp at all. Reached the camp at around 7. Went to the bunk and took a nap before falling in for roll call. Footdrill lesson was cancelled and we slacked thru the morning again. There was a tsunami in the recruits' bunks after lunch. Almost all the Muslims didnt want to go for prayers, we felt that there was something amiss. We went up to their bunks and made them clear their lockers and made a thorough check. I swear we made them very angry with the ways we check through their things and had their things thrown everywhere. And true enough, contraband items were found. Poker cards, lighters and cigarettes. One of them is still someone whom I always joke around with during recruit time. Wanted to help him hide the cig when I found but the other instructor saw it too. No choice. When I told Baby I am going to do an inspection, she gave me alot of stupid ideas. Haha.. Cant stand her... Baby working now. Cant meet her tonight. Haiz..

Baby.. I want to thank you for all the things you have done for me. I was shocked yet very happy to receive that msg from you that night. Now that I'm able to come out in the evening, we can spend more time together liao. Muackz. 2 years will pass fast. And all the things I've said to you are true and from the bottom of my heart. I dun believe in what honeymoon period. I only believe that if the relationship can blossom depends on how we handle it. I wanna have you in my arms forever. Giving each other the warmth when we are cold. I love you for being such a understanding gf. Nobody is perfect baby. You have ur shortcomings. I have mine too. I just love who you are. No matter how you become, I will still love you the same. You are the one baby!! Muackz!!

2007-12-25T19:28:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last week was a GREAT weekend for me. Seriously it was a very memorable one for me. I will always have it in my heart. Went IMH for Christmas Caroling on Saturday. It was such a great experience. I thought it would be very scary but it turned out they are just as normal as us. In fact, they are really very pitiful. Wanted to catch a movie in the afternoon but it was so crowded and the show we wanna watch was not showing. Headed back to Bb's hse to rest. Thought of heading to town at night to watch. Was too lazy to go out and stayed at her hse till past midnight.

Baby decided not to go for service on Sunday. Didnt wan to go at first till Michelle called saying she has something to pass to BB. So I went. The service was great. And I was reborn again on Sunday. I've accepted Christ. Finally..!! I didnt believe it at first and could not bring myself to accept it. But on many occasions I feel that GOD is really there to listen to me patiently and guide me thru the dark. HE has made the impossible possible for me. The biggest gift GOD has given me is Baby!! She is my best gift..

Planned to meet J couple to countdown x'mas. But they are going k box. Decided not to go. Baby was lazy to meet me at first and I was disappointed. Haha!! But she still met me at last. Had Fish & Co again. We have become regulars at Fish & Co. Headed down to Vivo City thought of watching Good Luck Chuck. But it was crowded and have to wait till 2++ a.m.. Wanted to join the 3 musketeers from camp and their gfs to St James but was cancelled as it was holding a private function yest. In the end, we went on a cable car ride and landed on Sentosa. LOL!!

Walked around and took pics with The Merlion. We went on the sky ride too.. As Baby was wearing skirt, we didnt play the Luge. Shall play it next time when we go there earlier Baby!! Down to Bikini Bar and slacked there. Playing cards and drank. First Christmas celebrated with her. I'm really very happy. Reached home at around 2. Sent baby home to bathe just now and to work. Going to fetch her later. It's so nice to have her in my arms all these while. I love you Baby!! You are the BEST!! I hope the next time you whisper to me, there will only be 3 words and not 4 words wor.. LOL!!!

2007-12-22T01:51:00.000+08:00

I posted an entry but deleted it before I went back to camp last night. I was afraid that we might quarrel again. But I did told her abt it juz now while having supper. I've finally got the chance to talk to her abt the things I've kept in my heart. Though I know what it was, I just want her to say it out herself. Coz I dun wan her to keep it all inside herself. All along, I know that this road will be very tough for us, esp myself. But I persevere on. I just hope that one day she wll be touched and things might change. But after so long, things still remained the same though she has told me many times that she has decided this decided that. She is still struggling. Sometimes I really dun dare to talk to her. I'm really scared she might get angry. I really wonder why she cant be honest with me. Why cant she share her problems with me? I know I am sensitive. I think alot and my reaction is very big after knowing the truth. But at least I know what she is thinking rather than guessing her and there and making the both of us upset. I really dun understand why. You may nv understand how I feel becoz you have nv really bother about it I guess. Its its its its GAY!!

2007-12-02T15:33:00.000+08:00

Got home very late last nite. Now having a bad headache. Didnt go to church and just finished ironing my unifrom. 4 more weeks to go and I can have my hair back already. Woots!!

Rented a car yest. Baby wasnt feeling well in the morning. Wanted to fetch her but she wasn't really happy abt it. Still worried I decided to wait for her at her hse. At first, didnt want to go up to her. Just wish to see that she reaches home safely will do. But seeing her being so restless, I just walked her up her hse and left to buy something after a while.

Jason came over my hse and we had lunch and Simpang. Went Whitesands to get sour plums for Baby coz I scared she will feel giddy or nauseous in the car. Fetched her and down to town to fetch Jocelyn. Nick came over to meet us later. Haiz. We can nv go out as 3 pairs. At least one of us will quarrel when we wanna meet up.

Dinner at Marina and it sucks big time. Seriously!! I know Baby dun feel full just that she is too lazy to eat already. Coz I am not even full how can she be full... LOL! In the end, all fed up and went to Bugis for dessert. Went Hougang for K box and left at 3a.m. Many thoughts ran thru my mind in the room. I asked myself whether should I talk to her. I was really confused at that time. In the end, I still dun have the courage to speak up to her. I just typed everything in a long msg and asked her to read.

At first, I was thinking what will she say after reading the msg. In the end, it's just words like "How you know?". My mind went blank. I just floored the pedal and overtook Nick who was right in front. He thought I was racing with him n high beamed me coz Jason was at the back with Jocelyn and could not go fast. But I really dun wish to care. I just wan to get out of the car and scream my heart out loud!! But when I stopped at the traffic light, I held her hand, I cooled myself down. When I sent her home, the hug was all I needed the most this weekend. Thanks Baby!! Other than this, I really enjoyed the night being with her. Love you very much baby!! I will really cherish you!! I promise! Jia you!!

Many times, my heart really aches so much when I learnt about some things. Even when I want to cry, my tears are so stubborn. They just refused to roll down my cheeks. This feeling is really terrible. I have been praying all these while. Is it because I am not sincere enough that's why all my prayers are not answered? I dun wish to have such feeling anymore!!

2007-12-01T14:18:00.000+08:00

Blogskin was changed thanks to Baby. Her hands are so itchy. Haha.. Thanks Baby!!

Life in camp getting more fun now as we r getting closer to the instructors now. But the training part, its getting tougher. Went into the gas chamber on Thursday. Woots!! That's a good experience. But after getting out of the gas chamber, I have second thoughs of becoming a fire fighter. Haha. 5 more weeks to POP. Cant wait and time pass really fast now.

Met Baby for dinner last night before meeting Cpl Shairul and other camp mates. Sat down at Changi Beach for some chatting sessions. Heard many stories about the camp and many other individual stuffs. Went to Old Jap School. Its eerie over there but other much to see as well. Proceed to Seletar Camp and went to see all the private jets. Its cool there and a nice place to relax if you have a car. I felt so unwell suddenly. Maybe due to the jerking and turning round n round at Seletar. Supper at Jalan Kayu and homed.

Many things have been in my mind since last week. I kept myself away from all the thoughts by pushing myself very hard in camp. In the end, I collapsed yest. My left leg gave way. Ankle and knee hurts and it ended in cramps during training. Baby helped me too by having long sessions on the phone at night which made me felt so happy. But whenever I have free time, the thoughts came back. Is this the reason y I kept losing my stuffs in camp? I wanna say things out but dunno how to say and just hope that thoughts will just go off and things will turn well. But how long must all these things go on. I really wish to know.

Baby, everything I need is you. My beginning and my forever.

What's past should let it be past,

only memories should be kept.

Treasure the present.

Silence and lies brings more hurt at times.

Understanding one can be,

giving up is just a matter of time.

2007-11-25T23:42:00.001+08:00

Hellooo~! Hee hee is here =) I finally change my gay blogskin.. Weeeeeeee Nice rit!!~ Its even more gay..Wahahaha~! Ok i'll RIP now.. Bye!!

This is my lesbian partner in action =) Oh did I mention, i'm gay ~

2007-11-25T11:06:00.000+08:00

Had a great weekend. Haha.. Those small small things can make me very happy. Met Baby in the afternoon yesterday. Caught Fred Claus at CS. Then cabbed down to Ang Mo Kio for dinner. Had Botak Jones for dinner. My campmates were saying its very nice n worth it. But we dun really find it nice. Baby's steak still got car smell. Its expensive some more. Lol. Met J couple at Bedok and watch Enchanted. Haha. It very funny and nice... The moments spent with Baby are so precious.

Baby, Have my prayers really been answered? I was really happy in this week coz of the one msg you sent and things you said. Seriously do. The time spent with you is always so precious to me and I will treasure them. Its gonna be two months already. Really very glad to have finally found someone like you baby! The one who I have been looking for for a long long time. I will cherish you. Muackz. Love you baby!!

2007-11-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

Booked out last evening as today was our off day. Bathed and went down to Baby's place and waited for her. Wanted to fetch her from school but she's already waiting for bus so didnt wan to waste her time, went down straight to her hse. Miss her so much. She acc me till Amjad came over to fetch me. Didnt get to spend much time with her coz she has test the next morning. Though the time was short, I'm happy enough just to see her. Went Adam's corner with my campmates for supper. Had lots of fun talking and playing cards.

Wanted to fetch B to school today but overslept. N lazy bum is still waiting for cab at 11.05 when her class is at 11. Lazy bum bum!! Went back to TP for lunch with Jason and mahjonged at Da's place. Back to school to meet Wei Sheng and Jason sent Baby to Orchard coz she is celebrating her frens' bdae. Another day without her. Missing her... Went Tamp with Sheng to look for PSP. Quite ex.. Finally developed our photos le.. btw, My baby became so sweet out of a sudden on Tues night. I was shocked when I woke up and saw her msg. But it makes my day. I wore a big smile on my face for the whole day until everyone asked y I'm so happy. Hahaha!! I thank GOD for you baby!! Love you lots!!

Back home now. Wat a boring night. Tired yet still dun feel like staying at home. Long weekend yet nth much to do.. Sian!!!

2007-11-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

The week has ended and 6 more weeks to go before POP!! Alpha lost the footdrill competition. How sad it was. It became so emotional after the results were announced. The day before almost everyone stayed up till around 3 plus 4. Onli had 2 hours of slp. We were confident in winning but juz too nervous. And when the command was given on the wrong foot, everything was gone. We lost by 0.6 points!!! All the late night trainings, early book in have gone into the drain.

Booked out late yest due to a soccer match Home U VS SAF. Wat a boring match. Went to school bus stop to find baby wanted to have prata but its so crowded. Went home to bathe and we went to meet Michelle and proceed to Hougang SuperBowl. Had fun bowling after so long. Had late supper and reached home at abt 4. Very tired. Poor baby have to wake up early to work. N the blur girl woke up so early and reached Fish n Co one hour earlier. HAHAHAHA!!!

Woke up at 10++ and went back to slp at 1 after the part time maid packed my room. Set my alarm at 2 but over slept. Woke up at 3.30. Bathed and cabbed down to PP to fetch baby. Dunno what to eat there. In the end, ended up at Fishy again. Hahaha. And we ordered lots of stuffs. Her colleagues were shocked with orur orders. Haha. Damn full. Too much fish till I wanna vomit already. But it's still more worth it than the food we had at Pariss last week. Sent Baby home after dinner. She's very tired and still have project to rush. Time is nv enuff with her. I wanna spend more time with her!! I miss her so much now!!

Baby.. Sorry for all the unhappy moments. I've said, you will not be alone no matter what happens. I'll always be around for you. We shall go thru everything together. No matter how long it will take, things will be done patiently. Muackz. I love you baby!!!

2007-11-11T05:22:00.001+08:00

What a way to end my last day spent with her.. I'll be booking in at 4 later. Cant meet her. I'm not going to slp liao. Still have to iron my uniform and polish my boots.

Everything was fine until a stupid qn from me in the cinema which ended the night a dreadful one. I'm sorry baby. I've asked a stupid qn once again. I did not expect ur reaction to be so big. I wanted to end the quarrel but she is juz too angry to talk. I dunno when will it be settled. Competition coming up and I am in no mood for it at all at this pt of time.

I admit I am seriously at fault. But that qn was juz a normal one. Not once which come with doubts. Mich have talked to me abt it and the trust for u is there. As the words you have heard may cause different reactions to different ppl. Hence, I wanted to noe what's yours when you first heard that. If I hear that first hand, my reaction will be totally different too. I admit, at times, the insecurity is there. But I know you are already trying your best. I wont say anything else. I juz wish to spend the limited time happily with you. I know the things you have done. Even though you are very tired yest, you still acc me for dessert and movie till so late and have to wake up early in the morning for work. I was shocked when you told me that you wanna go for movie yest. I love you baby. Like today, we have agreed on you buying for things before meeting me for dinner. But you actually had me going with you and spend the other half of the day with you. I really appreciate for what you have done baby. Really do. I do cherish this relationship and you. When you told me what happened that time at taka, I told myself it wont happen to you again. I wanna use all my might to take care of you. You are all I want for life. Sometimes, communication between each other may end up in the quarrel like what happened in the past few times. But at least, we know what each other is thinking and its the chance for us to understand better. I'm sorry baby.

Really very sorry. I hope that this unhappy night will end as soon as possible. I dun wan take it into camp and give myself more misery there. I'm already very tired and sick of the life there. Every msg of urs everyday brightens my day everyday. Seriously do. Even if its juz a good morning dear.. Baby.. I'm sorry...

2007-11-08T16:01:00.000+08:00

Booked out yest and it took me 1.5 hrs to reach home by cab! can you imagine that? gonna come back by train tml. save money as well. omg!!

Ironed my uniform while waiting for Baby to wake up. Poor girl. Did not slp well due to projects. Next week will be the foot drill competition which I doubt "A" Coy can win. Left with 4 days yet we still have a lot more to learn. It took me almost 2 hours to iron the uniform till I'm satisfied. Pray hard that miracle will happen next thursday.

Met Baby at 10 plus and had dinner at Simpang. Baby bought me a keychain. Thanks Baby. I love it alot!! We actually walked home from Simpang. Reached her hse at around 2. And the misunderstandings are cleared. I am really a very sensitive guy. Help me!!!

I have been starting arguments these days. Sunday after church, I got angry becoz she juz walked off to work without letting me noe while I was still in my cell grp. It ended up as a misunderstanding as she was abt to msg me when I msged her. And Tues night, some foolish thoughts of mine led to another unhappy night for me. Talked to Michelle L and she made me understand a lot more. I think its all becoz of the life in camp. Imagine you being the only Chinese and the language used there is totally foreign to you. The guys around you are so selfish at times. I went back to bunk after footdrill training and found one of them lying on my bed without even bother to change out from his sweaty and dirty clothes. How will you feel? And I cant say anything too! Felt very emo once I reached camp and wish for the weekends to come immediately.

Baby, thanks for forgiving me each time I gave you all sorts of nonsense and made you frustrated. I know you are making me feel secured. Thanks Baby!! I love you. I will be a more understanding bf to you from now on Baby. I promise. Muackz!!

2007-10-29T14:44:00.000+08:00

Dun we look like a bunch of refugees?

It feels so great being able to spend my Sunday night with my baby. Booked out on Friday night. Met baby for lunch with Rui and had Ice Cream Chef on Saturday. Sent her to work then cabbed home with Michelle. Booked in the night as there was a marathon on Sunday morning. Wat a boring Saturday. The night was spent at Changi. The journey was so long. OMG!! Gathered at Changi Exhibition Centre and transport all the drinks and tables to our water point. Set up everything at Changi Coast. View there was nice. Can see planes taking off clearly every 2 mins. Wanted to take pic of it but it was too fast n my hp was laggy. An hour of rest and woke up at 5++, had breakfast and started preparing. The marathon ended at 10+. Shifted everything back and we left for Camp and reached at around 3. Tiring. Luckily my camp mate sent be back if not I'm gonna spend 25 buck on cab again.<3

Met Baby and Michelle for dinner. We had alot last nite. Had organic meals then proceeded to Fish n Co for second round. I miss good food man!! It's not as if the food in camp is not nice but the portion is so pathetic for we guys only and no meat for us. Wat the f!! We r humans too!!<3

Walked home with Baby. And sat down on the swing near her hse and have a good talk. Though the time we spent together is short but I really appreciate it. I really treasure the time spent together. Everyone is saying that first 3 months are always the honeymoon period. But I shall prove it that its not only the first 3 months. but many many months. I'm really very very happy. Esp last nite!!<3

Baby. If you are unhappy, you must say it out ok? Dun ever keep it to yourself. And make sure you keep the words you said in the msg you sent me on Sat nite hor!! Muackz. You are one who is so dear to me. Pls pls pls. Take care of urself when I am not around. And dun be so fierce anymore k? Cool down. Let the good ones influence you understand? Muackz. Love you baby!!<3

2007-10-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

When I first saw you, I saw love. After all this time, you're still the one I love You're still the one I run to The one that I belong to You're still the one I want for life You're still the one that I love The only one I dream of The one who can make me feel complete What are you thinking of?? <3

After reading this in camp on Thursday morning made me had mixed feelings. Though it's juz lyrics, I really dunno what the f i am thinking about at that moment. I forced out everything in the training ground to keep my mind off it. And the day was full of punishments. Was a great help to me. Night at the stadium for a live match for Home U and Y Lions. Wat a waste a time. But it's a great experience for me as that was the first time I watch a match live. I didnt know how to tell baby how I feel. No words can be said now. Haiz..

But I must really thank GOD. I've really found a very very nice and understanding girl whom I can put complete trust in. She is the one I've been looking all these while.

Baby, And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you, And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby You're all I'm thinking of, I praise the Lord above, For sending me your love I really love you And I will never find another lover more precious than you More precious than you Muackz. I love you baby!! I miss you so badly. Time is nv enough for you. I dunno when can I see you again. Doubt it will be this weekend. You have to take more rest tml. And I will be back in camp tml nite and will only be back on sunday evening. Then it will be my turn to slp for the whole day!! Haiz.. Next week will only be a few hours at pam's wedding and church on sun. I'm going mad sooner or later...

2007-10-21T00:13:00.000+08:00

Second book out and I was burnt by the sun during the COC parade. And my body will give way sooner or later. By Friday, my legs dun seem to be with me anymore. But I will still endure it for the next 11 more weeks. Tougher training is starting on Monday. I'm all prepared.

Met Baby for dinner last nite. She cant stop laughing when she saw me. lol. I dun blame her.. Hehe. I am more worried about her. She used to eat alot. Now, she has lost her appetite. N everything seem tasteless to her. Dunno what is wrong with her. So stubborn some more. Wan bring her to doctor she also dun wan!! Wasn't really happy last nite due to some things. Hope things will go right soon. Baby. I have confidence in you!

Woke up with a sore throat this morning. No voice at all. Popped some pills and felt better. Went to fetch Baby and had Fish n Co for lunch. Acc Rui awhile and left for town. Shopped for her dress for Pam's wedding but still cant find. My baby is too shy to wear those dresses. Haha.

Tml is Sunday again. N I dread it. It means leaving my Baby for a week again. Time spent with her is nv enough. Time really flies. Sian!!!!!

2007-10-13T10:46:00.000+08:00

I'm out. So shiok. Still, own bed, pillow, bolster, blanket and most importantly the aircon is the best. Next week onwards training will start officially and it will be very tough I heard. Had my dinner with parents after bath. Haha. My mum miss me so much. She was so happy to see me. She is crazy.. Went Parkway to get my stuff and waited for baobei to finish work. I miss her so much! Juz a few hours shopping trip, I've spent more than 300. Haha. Coz I got my pay! I finished walking the whole PP and slacked at Starbucks. Falling aslp there. Hehe. Went over to geylang for supper. Both of us were very tired esp her who didnt slp for the whole nite.. Reached home at 12+, bathed and slp right away. Could not take it anymore.

2007-10-09T01:50:00.000+08:00

Tml is the day and my mum is so worried. She is worried that my temper will bring me troubles in camp. No worries mum. I will control. I've learnt a lot since that dreadful incident and from the punishment. No worries. She kept asking me lots of questions like have I packed all my stuff, etc. But I got so pissed off as I was not really in the mood. My mind is else where and I am getting frustrated over packing my stuff and drowiness. Tried to calm myself down and sat down to talk to her nicely. I have a naggy but great mum!! Mummy, I love you!!

Had a short day with my girl. But I'm contented. Movie and dinner at Fish n Co together with Nick. She went over to her fren's hse and Nick came over to my place. Now waiting for her to reach home before turning in. She is all that I want now.. Hope that everything goes on well for the both of us.

To you baby.

No matter how tough the journey is, I will walk hand in hand with you. No matter how long it takes, I'm gonna make things right. Nothing can change my love for you. Do take care of yourself alright? I'm most worried about you. Muackz. I yearn to spend more time together with you. I love you baby. Miss you loads!!

2007-10-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

We have taken the first step into our r/s. I'm really happy to meet ur frenz. And I swear.. It's not weird or awkward to me though it's the first time to church or meeting your frenz. There will be more to come. Its still a bit hard on you as you still seem not used to it and still abit reserved. Take your time. I'll remember what michelle told me and the the prayers Pam had for me. I'm doing all these on my own will. Not just for you. I'll stay by you always. I love the feeling of holding your hand and reading smses you sent. You will always be my pillar of strength. You are the one who will make my day so bright. You are the one. Forever and ever, I LOVE YOU!!

2007-10-07T02:17:00.000+08:00

Juz a simple sms from you in the afternoon can make me smile for the rest of the day. Muackz!! I'm so happy... Love you baobei! Hope you will feel much better after letting your frenz noe. No matter how tough the road in front is gonna be, I promise you I'll walk on with you. You will nv be alone. You are not gonna face any difficulties alone. Good or bad times, we shall share. I noe this journey will be tough for you. We shall take it one at a time ok? Remember, like what you've said.. we do not have to be close in a r/s. As long as we noe that we have each other in our heart will do. I'm gonna call the police to catch you. Coz u have stolen away my heart. I'm gonna depend on you to breathe from now on. Only you will be allowed to leave me, I will nv leave you. I promise!

The only thing I am worried about when I enlist is YOU! Remember you must take care of yourself and rest well alright? Do not fall ill HOR!!! I wan to see a healthy girl when I book out yeah? Muackz!

2007-10-05T23:40:00.000+08:00

My wait finally pay off and I am a happy man!!! Yeah!! Hehe.. Hope the same things wont happen again. Really very scared. Muackz. Dragged to played mahjong in the morning. Met Michelle, Sharon, her hubby and sister for dinner. Kayden is so cute!! Those two girls are real idiotic! Assholes. But see my sister smiling so happily oso feel happy for her. Maybe Kayden is the one who brought her the smiles. Sharon is living a tai tai life now. Fortunate to marry a good hubby. 4 more days to enlistment. Sian. Cant bear to leave some things behind. How...

2007-10-03T21:38:00.000+08:00

Happy Brothers' Day!! Went out with Grace and had a great day. Spent alot this weekend and today money was only spent mainly on food. Went around eating and shopping but bought nothing. Brother, remember you owe half of your dip to me. So return that half to me one day.

Handed in my timesheet on Monday. Intended to go Sentosa with Tiff but the weather is not very good. So decided not to go. Headed down to Da's hse for a quick mahjong then met Tiff for K box. Finally see a better side of her. She is finally herself again. The crazy and happy side of her. That's what I want to see most. It makes me happy too. Had great time and though the time spent is short, I feel very happy.

Wei Sheng wanted to drive on all the expressways. So went to fetch him and he drove me to MCYS. Fetched Grace in the noon and headed to DBS to pass them the cake. I miss them so much though its just a few days. Esp the 3 of them sitting in the same row. Miss the nonsense we shared. Head towards town and we sat down for ben and jerry's. Dinner at Bugis and had a good talk among the three of us. It's really a very good talk.

It's really nice to have frenz around you and spending time with them is the best thing you can do. Time is well spent these few days. 5 more days to go!! Haiz!! Good thing is, I just need to spend 3 days in camp for the first week. Can book out on Friday!! Yeah!

P.S: You r missed. You noe who you are...

2007-10-01T02:59:00.000+08:00

Days at Custody Ops have come to an end. Entering the days of "Boys become Men". One more week. Thanks CA Team for the bag and shirt. Love them very much. I'm gonna miss them badly except ONE of them. It feels so great working with such ppl. I'm gonna miss the days when I hear Rach n Joseph arguing. And I will miss the days when I pour my feelings to Adel and disturb her. Thanks Rach for the cupcakes, they are cute and Adel for the lighter. Thanks alot!!

Had dinner at Geylang on the last day. A treat from Lu Hua. Thanks dude. A very nice Chinese guy. This is the first time I click well with a Chinese guy. Wanted to join them at Clarke Quay but headed down to chalet to meet my cousins. It's so boring. Left after a while.

Met michelle yesterday. Things were not well for her. But sis, I'm proud of you. You are strong this time round. I dare not ask much though everything is shown on ur face u aren't really happy. Enjoy yourself. Have you got the answers to the questions I asked you? Hope you stay firm to ur decision. Let him know you are no push over and you are not someone whom he calls when he feels like. Pls get more rest. You are really becoming a big fat panda. Dun tire yourself out alright? Brother bring you for your frog leg porridge on Tuesday. Muackz. Guai.

Met the brothers and went around to give our offerings for some blessings in return. Hope things go on well and nobody is gonna leave. Really wish that the ones above will hear our wishes and bless all of us. Headed down to Ang Mo Kio for crabs. Finally had our crabs after postponing it for many times. Its good food!!! Worth the 1.5 hrs wait.

2007-09-19T00:43:00.001+08:00

8 more days to go saying bye to DBS. 20 more days before I shave my hair off. What a life!! I am becoming a panda. Dun seem to get enough sleep everyday. Help!!

Was quite pissed at work today. i was pissed with myself at first. I really dunno what happened to me these days. Kept making mistakes. Is it becoz my eye sight deteriorate? I kept seeing the numbers wrongly. N my mind is like overload with other stuff. I even almost forgot to buy lunch for Steph's mum today. And when I realised those stupid mistakes I haf done, I was even more pissed. N things got worse when Adelene makes me file those reports. I have been filing and refiling those damn reports since last Friday. And cant be flexible to used any hard cover file to keep them before filing them using fastener. I have to arrange them in order and when those old ones come later, I have to those out those recent ones and file the old ones in followed by the new ones again. i did this for almost 5 times this afternoon!!!!! SOMEONE PLS KILL ME!!!!!!

Heard that some of them are leaving. Dunno due to what reason. Heavy workload? Traveling distance? Some said the process system or whatever is fucked up. I have no idea too. But i muz say this office is kinda eerie or feng shui is not good. Derrick said work is not smooth sailing for him after shifted to Comtech. For myself, on the first day I have encountered something very scary too.. Dun wish to say it anymore. Things will suddenly appear in front of you when you give up finding...

Gonna hit the sack now. Nitez!!

2007-09-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

Finally have the chance to blog again. 2 more weeks to go before I leave DBS. Work load there is scary. It seems to be never ending. OT almost everyday. First few weeks there, I felt so bored as there's nth for me to do. Now that I'm familiar with the work, things were alright. N the colleagues are nice. Esp the one sitting next to me. Everyday kena bullied by me. She dun seem my age. She look so chao lao. Just like me. More updates in future. nitex. bye.

2007-08-22T00:38:00.000+08:00

Little Kayden is out!! Congrats Sharon. I want to be god pa!

Back to blog. Had passed my whole of last week at Singapore Science Centre. The most relaxing job I've ever had. Just sitting there and get paid. The only tiring part is the journey to and fro Jurong. Got to know two "straight" girl friends and clicked well. Got to know a lot about their lifestyle. And the other colleauges were nice too. Had lots of fun there. Mahjong after work for the whole week. And the last day, I received a call from Steph's mum. I thought something happened. Was shocked to know that she actually wanted to introduced my mum a job. Had a short conversation and had a clearer picture of what went wrong. I'm sorry.

Went TM with Jason to get Jocelyn's presents yesterday. A cushion and coloured papers. Saw Jacelyn and had a short chat.

Woken up by Miss Lim Shu Jun this morning. IDIOT!! Had nothing to do at work then smsed me to disturb my slp. In the end, met her for lunch. Didn't know so much things happened to the group of girls. Haiz. Girls are really hard to understand. And that dumb girl till now have not collected her cert!

Steph's mum have found a job for me at her office. Gonna start work again tomorrow. That's better. Rather than staying home doing nth, or playing mahjong everyday, going to work is a better choice. It will be at Haw Par Centre DBS tml till end of this month. Next month onwards, it will be at Comtech. Haha! My SIP work place. Can meet up with SCF colleauges for lunch already. Very long didnt go back. No life before enlistment. Haiz. Gonna save the money and get my car after NS.

2007-08-13T01:58:00.000+08:00

Met Grace for mahjong at Ah Da's house today. Got really pissed with some things. I get irritated very easily now.

Rushed home for dinner with J couple. And listened to my mum's long long old stories again..

In MSN, emotions were filled. Things weren't going right. I have nth else to say or do anymore. My sister was feeling down too. N mei, is it becoz we are really linked? We are always feeling down almost at the same time. I could not find any ways to help her too. I've tried my best.

When two persons get along very well, they become close friends. Things might can better if both become a couple. But there's difference between friends and couples. There's no limitations nor restrictions towards friends. You wont get jealous or angry over the slightest thing he does. Being a couple, you will tend to get more demanding. When you are down, the first person you will find is your partner. If he's not there, you will be upset. You expect your partner to ans and reply all calls and msges. And when things are not right, you wont dare to voice out for fear that it will get worse. Is this right??

Communication is the most important thing. Open up and tell your partner how you really feel and let him understand you better.

This is what happened to me. My last relationship was lack of communication. Always thought that an apology and forgiveness can cover everything. But things were not that simple. It will just carry on piling up and they will be brought out to say when things got heated up. Steph and I had a tough time in the past too. Whenever we quarrel, she wont want to sit down and talk things out when she is angry. When things cooled down, she refused to talk as she dun wish to quarrel anymore. I didnt bother to carry on with it too. Once, twice, things will still be alright. But when every quarrels seem to be about the same things, she decided to talk things out. N thank god, with the help of my mum too. We finally understood each other's feelings, likes and dislikes. She hates it alot whenever I asked to clear things up too. But I just dun wish to have more problems piling up. Coz we are talking about long run here and not short run. There is still a long way to go. Things should not stop here. Becoz of a moment of happiness, you end up regretting in future. It's not worth it. Every couple should open up and be honest with each other. Though you know that things may not turn out well, do it. At least you are honest and your partner will still know what you are thinking. Dun hold back anything between each other.

To you: It's all going well for you. Hope that you know how to treasure what you have now and also think for your future. Is this the path you wish to lead all the way? I think that all my words were said yet nth have gone into ur ears. Hope you can straighten out your thoughts one day.

To sister: Mei, its really hurting to see you like that. You are just not in the right mood to talk about all these just now. I apologise for not being of any help. But I will still be there for you if you need me. Dun be so silly to think about those things. Think over what I've told you ba.

2007-08-12T14:46:00.000+08:00

Had a slight fever and headache after the chalet last night. Muz be due to the poor lighting and stuffiness during our mahjong session. and oso lack of slp. It made me felt so giddy and cant see my tiles properly. Felt very uncomfortable when I reached home. Slept as early as 12.

Gonna start wrok tml. Was a bit sian. Have to wake up early like 6.30. Its so like school days. Sian.

2007-08-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

Juz a short post. Went Hair Profile with Jason today. My hair was chopped off!! Fuck! I am left with no more fringe. It looks so weird! Look so nerdy... Anyway, Starting work on monday. As an event coordinator at Science Centre. This will be the SECOND time I am going Science Centre for these 20 years.

2007-08-07T00:21:00.000+08:00

Fuck!! Bitten by Ah Da's maltese today. Gonna kill her for steamboat if she do that again.

Sometimes I really dunno what I am thinking. Is this the way I want it to be? Are there any regrets in the decision made? Till now I got no answers. Have I really gotten over it... I am unsure too...

2007-08-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

I fucking irritated now!!!! Fuck it!!! Maybe I've done the wrong thing. Think I've given a wrong impression. My energy are drained out. Replenishment starts today. Fuck it!!

2007-08-05T01:42:00.000+08:00

Quoted from sister's blog:

"and it's quite upsetting to see how someone so close to you change to another person. kor, she has really changed you. you're no longer the sayhee i know 7 years ago, no longer the funny-nonsense-lame-rubbish-irritating guy.pretending to be happy wont help ease the pain. i doubt you'll feel better this way either.and i really hope to see that the limsayhee i know 7 years ago, alive again."

Thanks mei! Dun worry. Ur kor is still alive and kicking. Just that the spirit dunno fly where. Like you said. Must call the "whatever" call the spirit back. lol. The funny-nonsense-lame-rubbish-irritating lim say hee is on his way back.

Unhappy!!

2007-08-05T00:53:00.001+08:00

Woke up as early as 8+. Went over to send Jocelyn to work and came back home and change with Jason. Met Nick and Kailing and headed to Ubi CDC. So many fucking ppl making their PDLs. Had to wait for another 30 ppl before it was his turn. Ate and chatted at the coffee shop. Asked him to go up as it should be his turn. He refused saying he can cut queue. Waited for another half an hour after he went up. Called him and was told he has to re-queue and its another 30 more to go. Fed up. Went back to Jason's house for him to change and back to CDC to pick them up again. And dunno what I m thinking about today. Kept going the wrong way and have to make detours.

Met Jocelyn at Far East and Nick went for his hair cut. About to head back to Tampines for bowling. Received a sms and was overcome by disappointment. Left for Katong instead. Billiard while Nick visits the chinese physician. He sprained his wrists and ankles due to an accident last nite.

Went to cosy bay for dinner. It's not cosy at all!!! I wasn't happy at all! Just kept smoking at the top though its for non smokers. No mood. Rushed down to Pasir Ris. Thought of attending Edmund's BBQ but the carpark was full. I was pissed and impatient in finding a parking lot. Hence, sent the two couples home and went for a spin on my own.

Wat a day!!!!

2007-08-04T00:29:00.000+08:00

Miss gym yest. Jason having fever. Stayed home and complete my thing. Finally completed.

Met Jason this afternoon for number ball. Went to fetch Jocelyn and his aunt. Back to Paris Ris for dinner. Thanks Aunty.

Headed to DTE instead of Ah Da's hse. Went to play UFO catcher. Caught two pigs. Haha. N that stupid couple caught 6. Dunno need so many for what sia. Then back home.

Very fed up with my mum sometimes. Have told her to give me n sis some privacy. Always like to look into our things. Invading into privacy once or twice is okay. But after reminding her so many times, she still did that. Scolded her in front of J couple. I dun give a fuck. Fucking fed up. This is the last time!!!

2007-08-01T01:04:00.000+08:00

Another day has passed.

Woke up early this morning and got myself prepared. About to leave the hse, PO called. She can't meet me today and postponed. Wasted my precious slp time!!

Slept till about noon and woke up feeling very hot. Realised my fan is spoilt. Dad bought me a new one. Met Jason for lunch outside school. Miss the food there.

Gave gym a miss today. He's staying over at Jocelyn's hse tonite n lazy to go home to get new set of clothes. Cabbed down to Safra for number ball again. Is my luck back? Got myself some extra pocket money these days. Hope things will get better and more things or people will come into my life.

Have been thinking of some things lately. Lost of what to do. Unable to seek advice. So lost!! Just wish I can get what I wish for and more sleep by next week...

2007-07-31T00:44:00.000+08:00

Very tired today.

Did my things till around 5 last nite.

Slept 3 hours and met Jason.

Headed to CPF building Tampines to hand in our timesheet.

Breakfast at mac.

Went to gym after that.

Finally gyming again after so long.

Wanted to head home to rest or continue with my things.

But thinking of the lack of fun for almost one week.

Cabbed down to safra.

Bowled and number ball-ed!!

Nick called for Mahjong.

Cabbed down to Ah Da's hse for 2 sessions of mahjong.

First was with Jason, Nick and Ah Da.

Second was with Ah Da and his brother as the other two have to work and attend theory lesson.

Ending my day with my winnings from the two sessions.

Had a great day!

Going to have great food this coming weekend again.

Hope things will go smoothly.

Payday on Friday!! More n more money!!!!

Yipee!!!

2007-07-29T00:58:00.000+08:00

Very tired!!!

Met michelle for shopping yest afternoon.

N she was late for 1 hour.

Went to get the watch and shopped around.

We had donuts. Suntec one can just buy 2 in another queue. Like that better.

Bus-ed down to Far East.

I could not control her from spending.

Just waited for her to buy her stuffs outside the shop and be her advisor.

Took 518 back to TP. She meeting him.

Cabbed back from TP.

Was telling sis that I m going to drop dead when I reached home.

But I still stayed up till 4++ doing things again. Sis should noe wat..

Sian.. Dragged myself out of bed today for work.

No mood to work.

Just slacked and joked around.

Went to eat snake for one hour without anyone noticing.

Tml is my freaking last day!!!

Can finally enjoy slping during weekends again!!

To tt someone:

Drink more water. N rest early.

Dun become a sick panda.

I miss you...

Be careful dun choke on the seeds... hehe.

2007-07-27T01:42:00.001+08:00

Woke up late in the afternoon again.

Met sister at chup lao for dinner.

And sat there and chatted till around 9 and left for home.

Stupid Jocelyn called juz now and ask me wat happened.

Said my mum called her and told her I am weird these days.

Ask why am I feeling so depressed.

Da jie. Tink of a better lie next time.

But anyway.. Thanks for your concern. I am alright.

I will let it out if I really can't take it anymore.

No worries k?

Sometimes, things which should be let go, we should let go.

Do not think of it anymore.

Facing any problems, say it out. Do not bottle it up.

Thats the advice you gave me.

Why aren't you not doing the same thing?

Be strong alright? I will be there for you no matter what happens.

I will nv leave you alone!!

2007-07-25T23:55:00.000+08:00

Firstly, Happy Belated 20th Birthday to Jacelyn aka Sotong Lim.

These days have been damn tired.

Having late nights every nite,

meaningful though.

Lazy for gym too.

Juz went once on mon.

Got pulled up for number balls before gym.

Wasted money again.

Woke up in the late afternoon yesterday.

Was feeling so hungry and waiting for dad to bring food back.

Who knows he juz brought a pathetic bowl of porridge back from school.

Met her for our 4th movie, Die Hard 4 at TM.

Had a jumbo combo and nachos combo for her.

And thats the last meal for me last night.

Woken up by Linksys staff.

Fuck up.

Ask me go all the way down to collect the scratch and win cards.

Who the hell is going to pay for my transport.

Think I am very free.

Should have just pass it to the outlet.

I dun give a fuck.

Replied saying I dun have time but no replies received.

Was to lazy to wake up for gym.

Was couldn't pull myself up when I thought of the threadmill and weights.

But call from Nick and Jason made me jumped out of bed IMMEDIATELY.

MAHJONG!!!

But was feeling so damn hungry.

Bought food up to Ah Da's house and played till around 7.

Nick has to leave for work.

Met Jocelyn at coffee shop for dinner and headed home.

Juz feeling very weird today.

Was very quiet today.

J couple kept complaining about me.

Say I am very weird today.

I admit I am.

Get very irritated with people around me very easily.

Every little thing they do or say irritates me.

I dunno why.

Help me...

Only you can help me...

My sis is feeling upset.

Dun tink so much mei.

He's just to occupied with FYP.

Two more weeks and he will be done with it.

Two more weeks to be spent before he becomes botak after that.

Remember what I told you tt time?

Being frenz and couple can be very different.

Now you know what I mean?

Dun always get upset le alright?

Anything just give me a call ok?

Dun make my fone become a dummy set.

And to someone out there...

I wish to see more of ur smiles.

Dun tell me you are lazy to smile.

It's just an excuse.

NO MORE EXCUSES.

There will be ups n downs among frens.

Just take your time to settle the differences.

Dun get upset becoz of such things.

If not how can you see how strong the friendship is right?

2007-07-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

this fucking piece of shit cost me 200 dollars! fuck it!!

Due to my laziness, I chose a nearer place to smoke rather than the usual place outside pet safari. With no dustbin around the place, I shot my half finished cig on the floor and rushed back to Challenger. N tt fucker actually walked faster than me with a fucking big backpack. Was curious why this fucker is walking so fast behind me all the time through the reflection of the glass door. I was then stopped and shown the NEA pass!! Fuck it!! God is so kind to me... I was still thinking of how to spend my money. And this fucking paper actually spared me a few more strands of white hair.

2007-07-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

Very tired. Mahjong till this morning. It's so nice to return home only in the morning. Miss the feeling. Slept till around 5 and met Michelle. She treated me to frog porridge dinner. Had tou hua for dessert I bought her durians which she felt we got cheated. Most importantly, they are nice. Thanks sis. Mei.. Dun worry. I am alright. Just dunno why these days just to seem very quiet. That's all. No worries. Just have to worry about how you are going to "hong" him. Nv do such thing again. Even if it happens again, dun tell him. HAhahaha...

Memories..

2007-07-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

Stayed at home for the rest of the day after reporting. The time is used to think of many things. Many things were being recalled.

In life, many people come and go. You may gain some things and lose some things too. My thoughts went all the way back to Pri school days.

Primary school days were so fun. Boys have to look up at girls while talking to them. Running down the stairs and straight to the basketball court for soccer without any food. Attending classes in our sweat soaked uniforms. Disturbing teachers, screaming and playing in class. How innocent we were back then. There's this bunch of guys whom walked through the days in Primary school days with me. Desmond, Zheng Lin, Chee Fan, Yi Zheng, Jerome, Saiful, Reuben. These are the notorious ones in the class and the jokers. Nobody can stand our group esp Zheng Lin. N not forgetting the girls whom we like to disturb. Melody, Wei Li, Mei Tong, Charmaine, Ginger, Audrey, Yuet Ling and Pei Sin. And special thanks to Mei Tong who have accompanied me through two wonderful years. People always say that first love is the most memorable one and I totally agree with it though we were so young that time. But that was the only time when we don't have to worry so much. N you not looking down on me when I am so fat that time. Don't know if you are reading this. If you are, all the best to you and him.. Dun forget my invitation alright? N oso.. no more hatred towards caroline k? Give me face yeah? LOL! Thanks to the buddies whom walked through those wonderful years together.

All of them got separated except Yi Zheng and Chee Fan. We were posted to the same school and got transferred together as well. 3 of us were always together during Sec 1. Lunch together and back to my house basketball court to meet the rest for soccer. We were nv separated until Sec 2. I was the bastard who did not spend much time with them as was attached. Drifted away from Chee Fan though. Yi Zheng was still with me most of the time as our gfs were "sworn" sisters. Things were different during Sec 3 as all three of us weren't in the same class anymore. No more soccer, no more lunch. Onli after badminton trainings we will go for dinner together.

New frenz were also made during those days in BN. First girl who caught my eyes was of course my dearest mei. N she has always been the one whom I vented my anger on and the one who listen to all my rantings. Always there to console me. Crapping in msn, smses. Even though she is sitting next to me in class, I will still sms her. Juz too bo liao. Guy frenz needless to say would be the 4 bastards-Dan, Azri, Aloy, Alfiyan and Wee Loong, Izuan, Wei Siong and Sze Kiat. 9 of us will always be the noisiest in class and we are the jokers. It is more of a nuisance to our teachers during lesson time.

And to the 3 girls I was with during those days. Thanks for all the memories.. Zhen. U too.. Dun forget about my invitation.. No worries for sharon as she is the strongest and happily married already. Most worried one is still Caroline who is like a sotong. Being bullied oso just keep quiet and dunno wat has happened. It was a mistake to end it tt time. Even now she is still saying that if that time not before of that moment of folly, we might still be together now. Everything is fated.

4 years of my youth were spent in BN. Frenz were made but come to tink of it, there's only one close friend.

Spent the 3 dreadful years in TP or should I say 2. Really enjoyed myself during year 1. Being so carefree and going out with whoever I want. No worries at all. Becoz I was still not attached at that time. Have no problem talking to girls and getting close with them. No problems during project meetings. Can always attend those meetings and get involved with school events too. Ming Wei, Jacelyn, Vanessa, Poh Ying, Six, and of coz brother Gracie. And of coz the bunch of Hai Sing guys. Things were different in Year 2 but was still alright. Just lesser time spent together and there might me be heated arguments between me n cherie. But we were given the space we wanted and trust was there except towards Jacelyn. I've felt that J has suffered alot all these while. But we were still as close. The feelings were there but nobody dare to make the first move.

Things were quite bad in Year 3. First, things turned bad between ming wei n myself due to an argument during a project discussion. Then slowly drifted away from J as Steph knew about my feelings for her in the past. Till now, I still dun understand why Jacelyn has to be treated as an enemy. It's all in the past. Things were alright in the beginning until some mistakes were made and things turned ugly. But whose fault, bystanders should understand better. Frenz left one by one as most of the time was spent with her. She has no trust hence things were really hard back then. No meeting of the guy frenz. SIP days were only lunchboxes in the office alone for almost 3 months. There wasn't any peace even when I am rushing my major project due to her sensitivity and being unreasonable. I kept quiet. Sometimes even finding all sorts of excuses to escape from meetings. What's the big deal when I am in an all girls' group for project. I have tried it once in Year 1 and things were very good and none of us got hooked. Only Yang know how I feel back then as things were all said to him. But sometimes it's very irritating to talk to him about all these as he likes to give stupid ideas.

Now, he's gone too. What has happened? Nobody knows. We wish to know so we can do something. But Jason and I are really helpless.

N for her.. I also felt so helpless. Wat should I do to make her overcome herself? Hope things will get better when time goes by.

Looking back, there are only regrets. But all these thoughts, I've told myself something...

"Learn to treasure what you have now."

"You might not know when you will lose them."

2007-07-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

Going to surrender my pink IC on 9 October. So sian. Still thought of planning overseas trip with J couple and her next yr. But the plans have to be held back for now. 2 yrs later, we will go... Why muz i be posted to SCDF while others to SAF. WTF la!! WHY!!! Ppl play with rifles, i play with water hoses!! Irritating!!!

2007-07-09T15:25:00.000+08:00

Feel random now. Going to fall sick soon. The feelings sucks. I'm like forever not having enough slp. Slp earlier last nite. Was really very tired last nite. Woke up in the middle of the night by a nightmare. I m still feeling tired now thought I just woke up. Been working during the weekends. Wat a boring job. Stand till my heels were aching like hell. On fri, had dinner at east coast and had our mahjong session. On sat, met her at TM for dinner after work. Seem that there's left with one shopping centre in S'pore and everyone is crowding in TM. Things were made clear on Sat and I just haf to go with it. Not going to do anything much again. Let the pace slow down. That's all for now..

2007-07-05T03:09:00.000+08:00

My blog finally have a new look. First time I changed blogskin myself. Was waiting for her to finish her project. Very bored. In the end, it was done with a new look and song.

2007-07-04T23:49:00.000+08:00

Fever has been hitting on many people these day. My youngest cousin was hit by it followed by elder brother. Hope both of them are alright now. N the same illness made me spent one and a half hour idling at MCYS today. My PO is late for our appointment as her 3 kids are all having fever. And she has to bring them to the doctor. It must be due to the damn weather in Singapore which caused all these young kids to fall ill. And also those irresponsible fellows ignore the stagnant water there for days, months which has caused some death in this little red dot country. Enough of my rantings.

Headed home after the appointment which lasted for just 5 mins. WTF!! N have to go back again next week. Was supposed to meet J couple at Orchard but was having slight headache and did not hear the phone ring. Hence, slacked at home till evening and went down to Simpang Bedok for dinner. She cant make it tonight as she has slept for juz an hour due to project. But she is still not forgotten. Bought her share and had the J couple acc me down to her hse and passed to her. Usual number ball at safra after that and headed home. Down on luck these days. Haven't been winning in anything for months already. Sucks!! MONEY NOT ENUFF!!!!

2007-07-04T00:00:00.000+08:00

Feeling great today. Hope I will always feel this way. Met her at TM in the afternoon and caught Fantastic 4. It is the third movie we have watched together. It's a nice show.. But it makes it better when I noe who I am watching with. Had our lunch at foodcourt after the show as that silly ger juz had nuggets after her lesson. Went back to school to meet Jason after lunch. If I noe that he can't leave at 4, I would have sent her home first. Haiz.. And after meeting him, things gets back into the usual routine... Gym, dinner and home. Wat a life. But it's more meaningful today!!

2007-07-02T01:03:00.000+08:00

Was waken up by my mum this morning to lunch out with parents and aunt's family. It's my aunt's bdae today. Happy birthday auntie!! Went for dim sum. It have been so long since I've ate dim sum le.. Love it so much!! Gonna eat it again soon.

Met Tiff and J couple at 5 and headed down to Carlton Hotel for buffet. Its said to be a durain buffet but it ended up being just a normal dinner buffet with durian desserts. Nothing special except for the extra open space where the 4 of us can eat durians. 4 of us got so bloated. Never eat durians after a heavy meal. Lol!

Sat outside Raffles City for a puff and the J couple started cam whoring. We took a group photo and, today I took a third photo with her. Shopped around Raffles City. Able to see yet unable to own the things. And one thing.. DAMN the GST hike!!! Ciggs is selling at 11.60 per pack!! WTF!!!!

Wanted to send her home but all the damn empty cabs didnt bother to earn more money tonite. In the end, she has to go home on her own due to my TR and I reached home at 10.30. J couple just went home not long ago. Poor Jason. He's broke. But that bastard still suggest that we will have Marche next week. In the end, we decided on just East Coast Lagoon food will do. More food to come!!!

2007-07-01T02:40:00.000+08:00

Ended my night in an emo state. I dunno why myself. This aside, has a tiring day today.

Cabbed down to Jason's hse in the morning. Helped to shift his things to his grandma's house in the afternoon. So many things to move. Its not easy to move to a new place. Things were done at late afternoon. Borrowed his uncle's pickup. First time had a hard time playing with the gear ever since I got my license coz the vehicle was quite an old one. Though it's tiring for the legs, manual cars are still better than auto cars. But it did saved us lots of time and money on cab. Sent them back home for a quick shower. Headed down to Harbour Front as Nick wanted to book a slot for sky dining on Kailing's bdae. Dinner at Subway and back to Jason's hse. Everyone had a tiring day today. Today will make up for this week's gym which I've missed.

Gonna head to bed now. More updates to come..

2007-06-30T01:30:00.000+08:00

Here to kill you boredom ger!

Met Nick in town to get Kailing's bdae presents. N tt fucker was late for an hour. Wanted to find Edmund for a puff but he was still at home at that time. So went around shopping alone. And when Nick reached, I realised I've spent around $200 in just an hour. Bought 4 shirts and something for someone. But her thing no more stock so have to go Millenia Walk. Far East to search for a bag for Kailing while waiting for Nick's rings to be engraved. Back to Wisma and Nick bought himself N95 before the rise of GST. Finally he has made up his mind after a cup of Mango Tango at Starbucks.

Cabbed down to Millenia Walk aftermath to collect the stuff and to MS. Got myself a new watch again. Kenneth Cole again. Altogether, I've 3 kenneth cole boxes liao. N the lady shopkeeper noes about my breakup thank to Alex. Kept telling me I'm still young and blah blah blah... Haha.. I'm seriously alright. But thanks for their concern as well. We two guys are like spending money like there's no tml. Guys usually spent money faster than gers. Coz we dun tink for so long before deciding to buy like gers. Lol. Around $400 spent in half a day. OMG!!!

Bus-ed back to Tampines to meet the J couple for dinner and arcade-d. Our usual boring life. Haha.. Then back home after that..

2007-06-25T01:16:00.000+08:00

As resquested by an idiot because she is very sian so here I am updating my blog. I think I am having insomia now. I will only find my bed at dawn. Someone told me that I am leading an uncle lifestyle now. Mahjong, number ball, and late nights doing nothing. It seems the life of someone who is about to say goodbye to this word. What has got into me? There seems nothing meaningful now in my life. Waking up in the afternoon, gym-ed, dinner-ed, home. Wat a life!!!

As usual, woke up in the afternoon today. Bugis with the J couple. G masked the phone my mum lent me as I dropped it on the road that time. But the end product makes me feel that I will get a bigger scolding from her when the phone is returned to her. Usual pasttime, snooker at Sultan Plaza aftermath. Decided to have dinner at Geylang with the self proclaimed "cute" ger.

Headed down to Kallang MRT to fetch her and to Geylang for frog porridge. It's the first time I saw passengers are allowed to smoke in a cab. We just merely told the driver that he can continue smoking while driving. In the end, Jocelyn joined him. Happily smoking in the cab too.

6 frogs and fried oyster for dinner. Went "whore browsing" after dinner. But they all kept up due the raids. The "cute" ger was so excited about it. But we were disappointed and headed back home.

Back home and was chatting with that "cute" ger with some stuffs. And jason is so eager to get himself a car when he has yet to enrol himself to get a license.

2007-06-23T23:25:00.000+08:00

Back to clear the cobwebs.

Life was full of emotions for me for the past weeks. One min I can be very noisy and irritating to others. The other min, I will become very quiet and walk alone in front or sit at one corner. What has gotten into me? I, myself got no ans to this.

Having a barrier in myself is never a good thing. Was awaken by some harsh words one night. Some things cannot be forced. So I have finally know how to take things at a step. Life has been better since then. Someone told me she is more relieved to see me back to my usual self. Yet, some things still cant be forgotten and its still there no matter how hard I've tried to get rid of them. It only makes me miss them more.

Juz read a blog entry talking abt how can a r/s last. Trust is an important factor in every r/s. It is not something which you can develop over the night. This is something which I am lacking throughout all my r/s. Michelle once told me to reflect back on all my failed r/s. N i realised wat a fool I was back then. Having those advice I've got from my colleagues in my head, I am sure trust won't be an issue to me anymore. Things will not be as bad as before and I will cherish everything in future if that special one really appear and give me a chance to prove it.

Sometimes, we say that the love and trust between a couple will become stronger overcoming all sorts of obstacles together. What about friendship? Does a minor thing affect a friendship of years? We shared the same feeling that we have become very distant from you. No more words can be described our feelings. Things aren't the same anymore. We can no longer share our problems like we do in the past. What has caused all these to become like that? Can you please clear our doubts?

Time restriction is such a chore. Wake me up when July ends. N its time for me to return to court. Hope it will be the verdict which I wish to hear long ago. I miss my night life!! I miss drinking at fishermen, clubs, slacking around at night, going home at sun rise. When will that day come? When it comes, it will be the day when we go HK, taiwan, cruise, genting. Give me back my passport!!!!! ARGHHHH!!!! I wan no more 8.30 rush!!!

2007-06-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

A BIG thank you to Tiffany and the J couple for the surprise cake you guys have bought. I was touched a moment before a knock was heard on the door.. It was Gracie baby sweet mms... Thanks brother. Then comes the trio standing at my door step with a cake in hand. I was surprised when she asked me to msg her when I reached home. Now I noe the reason. Thanks for it.. I thought it would be another boring bdae this yr yet again. But it wasn't so afterall.. Thanks alot guys.. Esp you.. with tests this week yet spending time having dinner and coming up together with the J couple.

2007-06-05T00:39:00.000+08:00

Thanks mei for ur early wishes and spending eve with me. No present its ok.. your sweet little card has made me touched with all the words inside. These 8 yrs are worth it to have a sister like you. Always there for me to throw temper at during sec school when I quarrel with my gf.. always there to listen to my whinings. U have been with me through all my failed r/s. U are always there to push me on and pull me up when I fell hard. You have nv bore me when I m with u.. coz u r my MISS CHATTY!! Thanks for being by me all these yrs... Coming 8 yrs le.. and I m still counting on... Hope everything will be fine after today... n i wish you all the best too. ALWAYS REMEMBER!!! I m always here for u when u need someone... Thanks for all the wishes I have received.. Yours made my day.. N i hope my wish will come true. Thanks everyone.

Happy Birthday

2007-05-30T00:39:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to you my dear... Hope u enjoy urself on this special day.

I have become donuts guy to her frenz. What the hell!! Anyway, her frenz are nice ppl. Humourous and fun. But things are seriously not on our way. Yesterday was still alright. But it was somehow like hell to me. Sitting in front of com, feelng so emo, feel like drinking. Dun feel like doing anything but gym till all my energy is drained and fall aslp as soon as i lie on the bed.

I cant do much now. Just to wish her all the best and hope she will overcome herself as time goes by. Can onli wait n wait...

"Would you be there?"

2007-05-29T02:49:00.001+08:00

For you, i'm willing to queue for donuts even though i laughed at others. For you, I'm trying to smoke half a stick each time if i could. For you, i'm willing to do anything. Just want to see the smile back on your face. Though its juz a short period of time, I m happy enough and hurt very badly. I am happy with the times spent with you. Things looked almost impossible for us after so long. The things I heard and saw. Everything is not going our way. Taking a step at a time may not bring us anywhere as well. M i wrong in the first place? I really dunno. Love is blind and human beings are selfish.

I remembered things clearly.

First lunch at century square. 15th May. Her:Teriyaki Chicken Set Him: Curry Katsu Don.

First Breakfast: Changi Macs. 17th May. Hotcake with sausage plus scramble eggs and iced milo.

18th May, 12.50a.m....

First Movie. 19th May. Spider Man 3, CS. First bouquet of roses. First wedding dinner. Bliss garden. First hand held, hug, kiss.

All these were gone. When will you call me dear again? When will I be able to hold and hug you again?

All the words you have said to me, I have kept them in my heart.

I would be there to love to be with you. I would swear my love is always true. Only if a chance is given.

2007-05-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

I dunno how i should react to it when i first hear that from you but to accept the fact. Fuck!! Dunno how to fucking continue with this fucking entry!!! FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

2007-04-18T00:04:00.000+08:00

I am always back with unhappy news. Any kind soul who wish to help a com nerd to change my blog skin which someone actually promised to help two months ago but nth is done. First of all.. mei.. ur kor is still alive and kicking. Just that I m not as hyper as before anymore. You should noe better than anyone what is the onli thing that can turn me into this state. Many friends of mine kept asking me why m i so stupid? My ans to them was love is blind. But i just realised I was the blind one. I don't know how many chance i have to give but got back nth. Yes. Love someone is not to ask for something in return. But the least should show u actually care. I felt unappreciated, taken for granted. Where were you when I needed you most? Where's the support from you? Where?!! No where! Camp camp n more camps. Yes. She likes to have fun but shouldn't there be a limit? How i envy my colleagues. Both of them working yet they still find time to call each other to ask a simple question like, "have you eaten?" One better still.. called from philippines. What about mine? I really don't know. Frenz asked me why are my face in her friendster profile. What should i say? I have to find excuses to cover up for her everytime. I have not seen her for more than 2 weeks. She didnt even bother to give me a call or say anything like she wish to see me. When asked to come over to my hse, lots of excuses were heard. I have to work 12 hours a day yet she expects me to wake up early in the morning at 6 plus to her hse to meet her. Why can it be the other way round? Why must I always be the one doing all these things? Why cant she make me feel loved too? I m sick and tired of it yet cant bear to let go. I cant bear to see her getting hurt by others again. But by doing this, I'll get hurt. I really don't know what to do. I tried to save it many times. But situations don't permit me and i eventually decided to give up. Anyway, i'm sure she has known lots of guys and happy with them around. So let it be. I can't be bothered anymore. Few frenz said it has been a long time since they last heard from me. Ah Soh is one of them. It's not tt I don't want. Hope I will gain back my frenz once again. Poly life to me is not as meaningful as sec sch life. I can count my close frenz in poly with my bare hands. All the best to her and her future.

2006-12-09T07:16:00.000+08:00

For the past 2 weeks, I have been trying to save our relationship though I said tt I have given up. Everyone tells me to give up. No point for me to carry on.. But I still cling on to the glimpse of hope of getting back. Jason told me.. "Dun cr abt wat others say.. Juz follow ur hrt.. If u still love her, dun gif up.." That's the reason y till now I didn't give up. She said I dun cr abt her. Frenz are more impt. When she is sad, I dun bother to go n find her. But what abt her? When I told her tt I have to attend court the next day, she dun gif a fuck. She dun even noe how to console yet tried to quarrel with me over some minor stuff like I did not fetch her from her hse which I always do in the past. Instead I waited for her at the bus stop. After the court hearing, I was so eager to see a msg or call from her asking how was the verdict. But no!! I got calls from Nick, Yang and Grace. But not her. Now u noe y brothers are more impt?!!! Coz she juz dun give a fuck.

Things were alright for 2 days. But I happened to see a msg she sent to him with the intention of rejecting him. But from my pt of view, it is trying to ask him not to give up indirectly. The msg goes something like this, "I tink u really dun suit me. When I needed u most, where are you? U are always so busy with ur activites. U are always not there for me. But it's my ex bf. At least he appreciates my existence." When I read this, I was damn pissed. It tells me that when he's not free to acc her, then she will come n find me. And when I told this to my frenz, all ans me in one voice. "If I receive such kind of msg, I will not give up. I will work harder and treat her better." But she juz dun get the point. She still insist she is rite. Nvm.. forget abt tt. On the same nite, I happened to see a msg from him... saying how she listen to his heartbeat when she held him. It makes me wonder what has the both of them done behind me. All her words dun tally with his. I dunno which words of hers to trust. But I still gave in.

The nxt morning is the day where the war starts again. She woke me up in the morning knowing I have a briefing. She didnt ans my calls after tt. As the lecture hall has no reception, I can onli read her msg after the briefing. She said I was busy looking at gers. WTH!! For 3 mths when I was having attachment, I didnt dare to go out for lunch with colleagues becoz I noe she will tink tt I m with gers. Now back to sch.. she is giving me all these again. When can I live my life peacefully and be a MAN??!! She even msged tt guy when I was not with her. It makes me wonder.. Y she say she wont reply him when I m around. But without me, she replied him. N she expect me to find her when we both quarrelled till so badly. When I find my frenz, she said they are more impt. I kept asking her where is she, she dun wanna tell me. Yet in the nite, she emailed me saying I didnt even bother to go airport to fetch her when I didn't even noe where the hell she is.

On Friday, it was worse. I told her to come n find me n frenz when I noe she was unhappy with her interview. I was on the way to meet my frenz so I asked her to join me. She expect me to fetch her and said my frenz are more impt. Saying that I dun even bother to cr for her even though I noe she was unhappy. Eh.. Hello!! I did asked u to find me.. but u dun wan!!! Then when I noe she is hungry, I even came home to pack my dinner down for her. I didnt even had my dinner. She dun appreciate it.. I tried to talk things out.. But she became so unreasonable and things ended up in a quarrel. I asked her to sort out her feelings after her mid sem tests and think abt wat she wans and talk things out after tt. She agreed. She then told me she was studying at Bedok macs. Fine.. I tried to trust her. I warned her many many times not to lie again. Coz she can nv lie to me. I noe her every move. So I ran out of the hse to Bedok central to check on both the macs twice each! But she wasn't there. Before that, I've told her I will go down. She asked me to.. said she wasn't afraid. She took advantage of the fact tt I m on probation. I kept calling her but no response. When she finally answered, I still warned her not to lie to me. But she continued. She insists that she's at Bedok inter's mac. So I asked her to tk a pic and send it to me. But she didnt and didnt ans my calls. In the end, she called and admit she wasn't there but at another mac with tt guy!! I was damn pissed. I swear I can kill someone. If my mum didnt stop me from going out after changing, I swear, there is no remainings for the both of them though I noe tt guy was innocent. but who give a fuck. I tok to him nicely, he was sarcastic and xia lan!! Kept pestering her. DIE is the word!! When I told yang, he wanted to go down without me but I stopped him.

Back home now. She msged me saying she has gastirc problem asking me to acc her to the doctor. Sometimes, I wonder.. Y does she msg or call me onli when she is alone? M I a sub? a spare tyre? She even told me she noe who is most impt in her hrt and that she loves me. But its all too late. Nobody has the ability to turn back the time. Not even GOD!!

To you: I've given u many many chances. But you took them for granted and lied and lied again and again. I've had enuff. Dun tell me how much ur popo likes me all tt and wish us all the best. It's all to late. Nth can go back anymore. When I m saving, u r destroying. U took advantage of me. U treated me as a fool. I haf been a fool for so long. I've had enuff. No pt praying to the stars and all. No pt telling the stars that u have lost someone u love, someone who cares n appreciates u. No pt staring at the stars tinking of the past. It's all over!! I give up!!! Tk cr of urself! Any problems, wanna see doctor, dun have to tell me. I cant do much. Tell him or ur mum. Tts it.. Bye!!

2006-11-23T15:11:00.000+08:00

Back again after a month. Almost forgotten I have a blog. Finally, it is the last week of my internship. Shiok!!! Dun haf to waste all my cab fares every morning. I have spent around 300 bucks juz on cab to work almost every morning each week. Things were not really going on well for us for the past week. But everything is alright now. We are going back to the old days. Juz hope she can trust me. That's the only problem we are facing right now. Nth else. Everything is alright. Muackz. Love u baby!! Back to work. Update in future.

2006-08-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I felt really useless. I dunno y. Ever since that dreadful sat nite.. Nth has been smooth for me. Baobei said that I haf been thinking negatively ever since then. I dun deny tt. I can nv forget the eyes and tears I saw on her face tt very nite. Till now, I still cant forget. I felt so useless. I can nv be there to hug her when she needed someone to care for her most. She was so near yet so far tt nite. I kept shaking my head asking her not to cry.. All she could do was to fake out a smile to me.. Baobei.. I m really very sorry. I brought so much upon u.. I caused to stay up whole nite. After tt day, every little thing she do, I will get angry. Whenever she is wif her frenz, I hope to receive a call or sms from her. When I didnt, I will get angry. I dunno y. I felt so useless. The feeling of her turning into another person became stronger as each day passes. Although she is always there to assure me, but I still cant feel secured. I felt so useless. I felt that everyone including her is just looking down on me. Even my parents!! I hate this feeling. All I need most right now is her to be by my side to give me her support. I need her hugs!! I wanna feel the warmth which she always give me. I wanna feel loved once again..!!! Whenever she is down, I juz hope to be by her side. Cheering her up, seeing her smile makes me so happy. I was in the airport today. I was like very moody. I dunno y. Onli her smiles can make me happy. SO i did lots of stupid stuffs. I dun mind being a clown in others' eyes juz to make her smile. I want her to be happy!! She is leaving Singapore for half a mth during hols. I cant even acc her coz of my fucking attachment. How m i going to live for that 15 days? without her hugs n kisses? I wanna hold the small little hand of hers everyday. Nobody to make breakfast for me anymore. Nobody to hug me when I m down. HOW?!!!

2006-06-26T02:28:00.000+08:00

Everytime i update my blog there are sure to be some unhappy things. Haiz.. So u are expecting nth new this time round too. Met baobei at Downtown east coz she went for proj meeting. Had our breakfast there n we proceeded to Singapore Zoo..!! So old liao still acting like kids! Hehe.. Bo bian. Singapore so small. Nth better to do liao. So went to "hui gu tong nian". Love baobei's companion so much. it has been so long since i went there. Had fun there. Baobei kept looking at gers!! Not guys! But gers!! somemore aunties! Everything was going on well n we left for home. Took a short nap. Was watching the match when andrew called. If u haf read my past entries, u will noe who he is. Baobei showed me. She didnt want to ans. I took over the phone n ansed. I was damn fucking pissed off wif him. He hasnt been calling for such a long time. It is onli after baobei called him tt day when we quarreled then he started to call almost everyday except yest. Mum said i should not be angry wif him but wif baobei. But i felt otherwise. I wasnt angry wif baobei at all. I was angry wif him. Y did he keep calling!! I was damn pissed yet she kept giving me a black face n all. I got so fed up wif her. Y muz she call him tt day! Y cant she juz settle things? Y muz she wait till she reached home then she settle things wif him n not in front of me?!! Wat is she trying to hide?!! I really dunno. Sent her home. She kept humouring me. I chose to ignore her. On my way home, i was hoping for an sms from her. But no. She didnt!! She juz went online. Msned n friendster!! In the end, she made things like its all my fault. Kept mentioning tt onli cherie understand me n not her. She juz dun understand how i feel n how much cr n concern i need from her when such things happened. Everytime i see him calling her, it reminds me of how she lied to me n accused me of being sensitive. Y are all these things happening to me when things are back on track everytime? Tt time after we fought, we were at a loss whether to carry on or juz remain as frenz. In the end, we decided to carry on. But for the past few days, i m not really very happy wif her. She kept comparing herself wif cherie! WTF!! Wat's there to compare! I didnt even compare how she treated me wif her ex. Y is she comparing!! If u wanna compare, dig out all my frenz n ask them personally!! It is onli till yest that things r really slightly going back on track but now, things happened again. R we really meant to be like tt or r we juz too sensitive? I noe she has been trying her very best to keep quarrels to the minimum. She said tt i m taking advantage of all these?!! M i?! Yes. i agree tt these days i m emotional n always start the quarrels. But i m not taking advantage of anything!! She is trying her best not to get jealous over those looking at gers incidents. I noe she is trying her very best n she is very tired. I haf lots of things to tell her. but everytime when i come face to face wif her, i m at a loss of words. i haf lots of things to say to her. But juz dunno how to start. Can someone teach me? I need her. Tt day i was rather happy when she bought a pair of shoes n asked her sales ger to design it with both our names on it. She told me tt i could not run away now. I m wondering, who is the one always trying to leave? Is it me?!! I m not!! Till now i onli shouted break once n after a few hours, i went back to apologised n asked for forgiveness. Is this wat she called taking advantage?!! I noe she dun like gers calling me and everything. I've asked wei zhen, cherie n jacelyn to stop contacting me n all. But y cant she do the same? When i noe she dun like, I tell them immediately. But y cant she?!! Is she taking advantage of the fact tt i will chase her back everytime? Why is it that we can nv be happy? Y is it that we r proned to quarrels everyday? R we meant to be like tt? Quarrels strengthen a r/s? but muz it till such an extent?

I can DRIVE noW!!!

2006-05-28T04:02:00.000+08:00

Yesa!!!!!!!!! I PASSED!!! I M A QUALIFIED DRIVER NOW!!! WOOT!!!

Baobei didnt come down to gif me her support but she is still in my mind supporting me. She overslept. I still managed to give her this big present as promised. Managed to lie to her n my parents. They all believed tt i cant make it! Such a disappointment.. M i really tt bad?!!

Went to kai's sis bdae BBQ today. Wanan find trouble wif him. Even got yang to standby. But becoz jie ying has asked me to give her face on her bdae. Furthermore her parents were there. So tried to stop myself. In the end, buay loon liao!! Wanna go up but baobei keep stopping me. The sight of him really makes me boil!! FUCK IT!! Quarreled wif baobei over there becoz of him! She juz cant to set her mind at ease when he has not arrived. Kept looking around. I dunno wat she is looking at. Maybe wondering y he has not arrived? I dunno. When he reached, caught her eyes kept staring at him. GOt damn fed up n walked away. But she didnt even followed. In the end, she came up wif jie ying. But i juz shoved her away. Really very pissed wif it!! FUCK IT! CCB!! She kept explaining things. But i juz could not listen. She left me to cool down which i finally did. But kai's thing, i will get him one day. Juz a matter of time.

2006-02-22T18:02:00.000+08:00

Wat happened to the both of us? I m wondering. R the smiles on her face all true or forced? I really wanna noe.

Had a small arguement yest evening. Her words really hurt me alot whenever she is unhappy. Wat m I tinking?! Sucks!! A day without seeing her, my heart will be very uncomfortable. I dunno y! Haf been very deep into this though it is not long. She is the onli one I dun dare to scold or raise my voice too often. Out of all my gfs, I onli allowed her to talk to guys over the fone or go out wif guys alone. Those close to me should noe tt I m not tt kind of guy who will allow my gf to do all these things. I am very sensitive and get jealous very easily . But dunno y after being wif her, I've changed. Though I will still get unhappy, I wont complain or argue wif her over such things. She made me trust her. She is honest with me.

I thot tt the sweet days will be everlasting ever since I m back frm holidays. But it is ending soon le ba. She is very moody today. Even the msg she sent in the morning is so much diff frm the one she sent yest morning. Called her, she accidentally rejected it but didnt call back. She sounded moody when I called her again. Wanted to meet her today but she didnt wan to. Maybe she is sick of seeing me everyday? Haiz. I didnt even dare to call her. Juz smsed her. Short replies. 3 plus called her but hanged up less than 2 mins. Smsed her till 3.54 pm. she stopped replying. N till now, she didnt call or even sms me. Feel like calling her but scared. Wanan go down but I noe she wont be happy coz I m having a paper tml. So I msged yang to see if she is alright. Knew tt she was slacking there but no msg was sent by her. Wat should I do? Really very scared. First time I feared so much. Call me henpecked or watever name u can tink of, I dun cr. I juz need her cr n love!!

Was talking to yang n grace in sch. Was talking abt the new hp yang n baobao had got from their parents. grace was asking bao's mum bought it for her. I said ya, she is so xing fu. Everything she wants, she gets it. But one sentence from Grace set me wondering. "Steph wants a good bf but y didnt she get one" This sentence is although a joke from tt idiot but it really makes me tink. M I a gd bf to baobao? Is she happy to be wif me? M I by her side everytime she needs a pair of listening ears? M I the one she wants?

Baobei.. I hope tt u will not keep things to urself. I m by ur side to share ur joys and sorrows. U r nv alone. U r my everything now. All I need is ur love!! Tell me wat u r thinking. Even if it's something unpleasant to my hears, juz tell me. can? pls. Either one of us haf to change our temper and I haf decided to change it. My room messy, I haf packed it. Everything I do, I do it for u. Hope u can see it.

p.s. i cant tk it any longer. i've plucked up the courage to msg her liao. Waiting for her reply.

2006-02-14T03:14:00.000+08:00

br0ther.. i changed ur lay0ut f0r u le. d0 justice t0 u.. erm. i mean ur bl0g! wahahahs. but the b0tt0m pic h0r, leave it there la. bi xie !! lol. leave there als0 go0d ma, make it obvious which one is past tense, which one is present tense. s0 in case sensible ppl wanna c0mpare, they will say ur taste impr0ve instead of saying things like change underwear.. (-_-")

and the b0tt0m pic als0 serve as a reminder f0r u t0 treasure stephanie l0r. remember u`ll n0t be s0 lucky each time t0 meet such a good ger leh. but g0d is fair lah h0r? he always let us meet a few WRONG ONES so that when the right one comes along, we will kn0w. wahahs.

Happy Valentines Day t0 u and steph w0r! take this as a Vday gift fr0m me t0 the 2 of y0u! btw h0w ab0ut we celebrate t0gether by opening a stall selling carr0t ~~legs~~ cake? o0pz. =P

(Blog lay0ut is changed by me, gracie-baby. Temasek Poly Small Small la h0r. wh0 n0t happy with it can c0me c0mplain t0 me straight! )

2006-01-26T15:34:00.000+08:00

Advance Chinese New Year to all of u!!!

Will be away during this CNY!!! Muz share ang baos k?!!! Tk cr everyone!!!

Happy NeW YeaR

2006-01-11T02:51:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year..!! Though I noe its abit late but better late than nv. New yr, new life, new frenz, new clothes and many other new things.

First of all, to all my frenz out there. Love ur company and all..!! U guys haf been wonderful.

Brother.. U haf been a great buddy in sch though always pang seh. Pls attend lessons regularly. Stop leaving me there alone can?!!!

Mei, we seems to haf distant ever since we entered poly. Dun u tink so? I admit tt I am at fault too becoz of my relationship tt time, I cant meet u. I m sorry. Juz hope that our relationship can still be as close as it is when we were in Sec sch.

Jie, thanks for all ur care n concern. N u spending time at nite to chat wif me in msn. N oso made an effort to ask Zheng to msg me. If not i will nv noe tt he has changed number if he did not msg me tt nite. Thanks alot. Pls see a doctor if u still dun recover.

PIG Gang..!!! U guys are the best..!! Always as one..!! Peep, haf fun, club, drink, tee-lin, eat.. everything together. U guys are the first group of guys I m really close to in my sch life throughout my life.

New yr's wish is to pass my driving test on 27th Feb once n for all and get my car asap..!! I wanna drive..!! I m sick of waiting for buses, trains or even cabs..!!!

X'mas Eve

2005-12-25T01:42:00.000+08:00

Had a great day out on x'mas eve. Met up wif Yang at his place n went to see doctor as he had diarrhoea since yest.

Went down Woodlands to meet his frenz and sold them some jeans. Some comotions took place aftermath. Shall not elaborate.. Shook off his frenz and went down Bugis wif my ger n yang. Walked around with a thick wallet. Split up the money to three ppl. After my stolen bag incident, I dun dare to carry so much cash wif me nowadays.

Went for steamboat dinner. Wo swear "Xian De Lai" is very unfortunate to have such customers like us..! First thing when we went in, yang shouted "da qiang"!! We were laughing like fuck. Wat the fuck can we rob from there. FOOD?!!! Secondly, disturbed the employee. Askign whether we can get the whole flask of water for ourselves. Thirdly, Yang kept dropping his chopsticks and haf to change n change. One person uses so many pairs of chopsticks. The greatest has yet to come. After eating happily, Yang came out wif the idea of eating without paying. I was like "WTF"!! The whole meal gonna cost us 70++ and he said tt is a waste of money coz he onli ate some fishballs and quail eggs onli. Seems bad to me but i agreed on it at first and we came out wif a plan and decided to implement it. But upon seeing my ger's black face, I wanted to pay. So we left. Who noes, when we walk down, the two walk rite out of the restaurant. N most importantly, the one who's in front..!! MY GER..!! I walked out last n kept laughing. I was still a kind soul helping one of the employees holding on to the door coz her hands are full of food.

The design of the restaurant is shitty. Coming down from the second floor is the entrance. Ppl walk out oso nobody noe as the place is crowded. They should be like Seoul Garden, collect money before they bring their customers to the seats. This shall be my first n last time. Felt rather guilty. Retribution is on my way. Cant haf my own biz in future. Sure close down if every customer is like us.

Went shopping at Bugis street. Both guys got ourselves a shirt each and bought a skirt and a bag for ger. Went Sim Lim n Yang got emotional upon seeing Yan. Everytime one la. Send ger home. Choc muffin frm Breadtalk is nice..!!

Got home after tt coz those jackass are no where to be found. Those with bosses r out wif their boss at Orchard. Boss always come first for guys. Gentlemen are all like tt. Hehe. Zhong Se Qing You..!! N those gayshits shaking their balls at home kept pushing the responsiblity to organise it..!! WTF..!!!

There goes my X'mas countdown. Hope new yr's eve is not the same.

2005-12-17T23:35:00.000+08:00

Tell me wat do u wan?! I've told u so many times that if u wanan get back, pls change ur attitude. But till now I've not been convinced by u abt the change of attitude. U said you haf changed but I still dun see it..!! Wat u wan me to do? I really dun wan us to quarrel unnecessarily again if we get back..!! Do u get wat i mean? I m really glad for the effort u have put in trying to make me the most fortunate guy. All i need is juz to see a change in ur attitude. Tts all..!!

Fucking Pissed!!

2005-10-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

First time see Baobei's parents. First time play bowl with them. First time bowl at Marina South. First time my bag was STOLEN..!!

Had my dinner at Marina South with baobei n her family last nite. Bowling aftermath. Playing halfway thru, a chinese couple kept looking at us playing. Dun gif a fuck. Went to buy drink n came back wif my bag gone including the couple. Fucking fed up. The bag is juz 3 days old. It took me quite lots of effort to get tt bag. Its not cheap either. All my things r in the bag. My wallet(wif $60, IC, EZ link, Matric Card, winning lottery ticket, ATM card n etc.), my n baobao's hp and keys, my MP3 player, my hugo perfume baobao bought for me, my thumbdrive, baobao's EZ link, my water bottle... All added up to almost a thousand bucks. I still haf to spend a lump sum of money getting back all my things and cards.

i juz bought my fone n got my SIM card. $318 for my fone coz signed line again. $47 for my memory card. $5 each for both my ATM card n Sakae card. $10 each for my EZ link n Matric card, around $100 for my IC. I dun even noe whether i haf enough money to get my wallet, my MP3 player n my bag again.

Called the police down n they checked on the video. It cant be seen by the camera. "WTF do u install the camera for when it cant even capture every single place of ur centre?!!!" qn posted to u, BOSS OF MARINA SOUTH SUPERBOWL..!!!

Curse the fucker who stole my bag. I really mean it. Hope his/her fingers rot, body rot, knocked down by cars when running away wif my bag, children born wif a bag face, and more to come.. KNNBCCB..!! FUCK ALL THE FUTURE GENERATIONS OF URS..!! Really fucking pissed..!! GO back China if both of u r the ones..!! Pollute singapore wif all ur dirty deeds..!! CCB..!! China bigger for u to steal more things..!! Opps..!! I forgot.. China things r without any value.. Singapore stuff cost 5 TIMES MORE THAN CHINA'S PRODUCTS...!! Fuck U..!!

My dad sent me, baobao n mum to Bedok HQ to get my report as i need it to apply for my Matric card. But fuck.. It took a fuckign long time. So we went for lunch first before going to TM to get my SIM. N dad sent me n baobei to Tampines NPC n left. After which went to Bedok reservoir with my baobei n her mum to see doctor for my sprained arm. Went home to get money left by mum n down to Woodlands to meet my aunt. I bought my fone at North Point as no more other outlets has the phone n it needs my aunt's IC as it's her line. Fucking troublesome and expensive to run here n there without my concession pass..!!

Gonna get my EZ link, ATM n IC replaced tml after my driving lesson. Fuck it..!! still super DULAN..!! Hope the loansharks nowadays will be clever enuff to look at the pic on the IC before lending money. I dun wish to see any "O $ P $" on the walls of my staircase.

2005-08-20T02:55:00.000+08:00

The Best Dressed Group for PSQ

First Driving Lesson

2005-08-14T01:46:00.000+08:00

Attended my first driving lesson today. Was quite scary. I had a pervert as my instructor. Giving me a stupid face when he saw that I am not a ger. Looking at a ger by the circuit road even i have drove past her, turned back his head to look at her. fuck..!! I was so scared while driving. Driving on the right lane was alright. But not on the left lane. My back tyre went up the kerb twice while on the left lane.. Imagine me driving into the right lane when there's a car advancing. N imagine me braking juz a few metre away from the front vehicle for a beginner. Sudden brake by the car in front. Fuck..!! The instructor was fucked up. So pissed wif him. I wont gif him good life though he is my instructor. While he was drinking, I purposely jerked the car to let him get wet. Not once but twice..!! First time i apologised but i heck cr for the second time. Haha.. Gonna book my second lesson soon.. It's fun yet scary to drive. Tink practice makes perfect. Dad.. Ur car is dead...!! Ask the insurance company to prepare the money..

Sunset

2005-08-09T03:21:00.000+08:00

I wonder who created the sunset that reminds me of you...

Your absence has turned my feelings into Love, for you...

You are my second love...

First love was dead for me.

What do you remember of me?

My name? soul? or my heart??

When will i see you again

I need you to cradle me with your love,

the least, your presence...

Days that go without you are like silence that fills the air.

Every sunset is a picture of you..

Every sunset makes me long to hold you...

Fated to meet,

not fated to love at all,

can we secretly love each other?

Those seashells,

I will wait for them...

I will wait for that sunset to bring me to you.

That sunset will be a place for me and you.

Remember that sunset....

2005-08-02T01:58:00.000+08:00

This is for you my dear ger..

Can't imagine u getting jealous becoz i didnt talk abt u in my previous entry. When did I ever say that I haf my frens n you will be neglected? When r u not loved by me? You are always loved by me.. but...

You are so evil. Knowing I m sick and dun wan buy porridge for me. Seeing you is better than taking medicine..? But I m told that I can onli see you after I haf recovered. So still haf to tk medicine rite? Haiz.. Dunno wat talking me.. Not in the mood now.. Juz wan to scold u.. Sat ps me.. stupid u..!! waiting for u but u didnt call...!!

Ger.. I m feeling very down tonite.. came online with the thoughts of sharing it with you but u are not here. I miss the days we talk on the phone for hours.. Lazy ger dun like talking on the phone liao.. I haf many things to tell u.. I still cant get over it!! U should noe wat I m referring ba...

2005-07-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

Got quite emotional these days. My life in poly has lots of ups and downs. I've made lots of new frenz and they are real fun to be with. In my school life, I do not haf so many guy frenz before. wo swear. But i still get along better with female frenz becoz they will noe how to console you when you r feeling down which guys dun. I myself dunno how too.

Since the first semester, problems haf been haunting me. Some bitch accusing me of wanting something with her and caused Grace n Jacelyn to hate me for tt period of time. I wondered wat haf i done wrong. Y do u wanna do this to me.. Luckily after all the evidence thrown to Grace n Jace, everything was cleared. The bitch was then the nxt target for Grace. Serve her right.

Fell in love with the wrong person in my life. It was the worse thing I haf ever done so. Ignoring everyone's advice and going on with my stand. Hurt by her in the end. It just lasted for a day and it was ended with a lamest excuse I have ever heard of

Life was still fucking lonely at that point of time. Maybe still not used to the single life I am going thru at tt pt of time. It only ended when I met all these guys. All real buddies. Though we have nth to do everyday, we can just hang around tampines and I still feel happy. Rather the cooping myself at home. Parents said that I haf turned bad. Returning home late and all. Imagine.. In the past without these guys, where do you expect me to go other than home? Right? U cant just pass the verdict on saying I m bad as I am returning home late nowadays.

Not only them, Jacelyn too. She said that I haf changed. Haf I changed alot? It's true that I m not the same person as in Sem 1. I smoke and do all those things guai ppl dun do one.. I fell for Jace in Sem 2 for dunno wat reason. She is always there for me when I m down n vice versa. We were close then. She kept her feelings for me to herself till I found my new love. There she is being angry with me when she found out abt Cherie. I dun understand why she got angry with me. She started showing extra care to me. N every little action I do, she will get hurt. She even said that she broke up wif her bf becoz of me. Till now I still dun really believe it. Becoz of this, I quarreled wif both Jace n Cherie for quite alot of times. Now that I am back to single, she just heck cr abt me. She is selfish? Or like what chelle said, "she loves to be loved".. I m trying to get an ans

Gracie baby have been a good pal of mine since last sem. Got even closer this sem as we r in the same class. Reservoir bros, saffron bros, breakfast bros, tutorial bros n lots more. Sharing problems with her is a good thing. She will gif u good advices. But she dunno how to use all the advices on herself. OUTSIDE JADE GRACIE BABY..!! not 1 BUT 3..!! Luckily I took the initiative to clear the misunderstandings between the both of us in sem 1. If not i dunno how long she gonna hate me..!! All to those buddies... U R GREAT..!! WO SWEAR..!! Words used by them are very vulgar but we enjoyed it. Parents' names are used to play with. Can imagine Katic flipping thru the yellow pages juz to find the parents' names. Only one ass's parents' names cant be found. GRACE CHONG YEE BOON..!! Her hse is not found in the yellow pages. Illegal immigrant..!! These guys are not shy at all. We can just scream n shout in the middle of the road or in the public. We just dun bother abt wat others may think. We live for oursleves and not others. SO y should we care how other look at us..!!

I really treasure all these frenz whom has come into my life..!! I LOVE U GUYS..!!

Chimjes

2005-07-24T17:14:00.000+08:00

Drunk outside is already not a good thing. Being drunk outside with two innocent without being taken care of late in the nite is even worse. Was down at chimjes last nite with the gang of guys. Mei n Hui was asked to come along too. I regretted calling them along or even going there myself. The two gers were so bored there. They were simply just sitting there talking to each other whole nite while we guys were grinding at the dance floor. Sorry mei n hui..!!

Blame it on myself to drink 3 cups of vodka NEAT n got myself drunk. N fuck it.. have to spent half an hour outside the toilet vomitting. Sucks..!! Wanted to go makan before heading hm wif mei n hui i cant even tk the cab ride that i wanted to vomit n could not join them. Wat a weakling. Sucks...!! Reached hm and i rested at my void deck for 10 mins before going up. Mum was still up and as usual, kena nagged again. Fuck cr la...

Cant even wake up to meet yang today. Head was spinning when i woke up.. the feeling sucks like hell.. chee bye...

15/07/2005

2005-07-16T02:48:00.000+08:00

"Wat's going on with this god bro and god sis thing?" people may ask. But I felt that having such relationship will pull the both of you closer to each other. I do not know about others but I definitely feel that way. My close frenz will know that since sec one I have a very close fren who is my god sis. Should say an idiotic and thick skinned mei..!! Till now we are still very close. I juz feel the bond between us is strong. Dunno how she feels la.

Anyway, met her up after so long due to some reasons. Mei.. u should noe y la...? Was supposed to meet her at Lucky Plaza but that stupid ger waited for me at Far East n I haf to walk all the way there. Shopped around there and took neoprints before heading towards Taka. Got the present for my special one there and went to Heeren for dinner. Took neoprints again. This time round more satisfied wif the neoprints.

The nite is still young after shopping at Cine. Called our frenz but none wanna come meet us so we went to starbucks to slack. N this idiotic ger so zhi lian. Kept blasting my hp wif all her pics. From full batt till left one bar. See how zhi lian she is. Kept saying "I love myself, do u love me?" Stupid ger. "I love my side view!!!" Very irritating... But really had great time snapping away wif my hp coz this lazy ger didnt bring her digi cam juz becoz her bag is heavy. Come on.. how heavy can a digi cam be...? But good thing.. my hp is of high quality so the pics r clear... hehe... Influenced by her till I m so thick skinned too. Wanna break the record of snapping till my hp has 200 images but something happened at hm n she has to leave. So we left. Anyway starbuck oso closing soon.

Mei:

Thanks for being there for me all these while whether I am happy or sad, you nv fail to stand by me and give me advices of what to do. Really appreciate it alot. Thanks alot. Now we can haf more time to go out together liao. SO muz meet up more often n haf more fun k? Muackz... I love u mei..!!! Bro n sis forever..!!

2005-07-12T23:48:00.001+08:00

brian.. lying in the park..

2005-07-12T23:48:00.000+08:00

blur... kiang on the floor..

2005-07-12T23:45:00.001+08:00

the clearest...!!sheng n li wei..!!

2005-07-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

li wei n jem

2005-07-12T23:44:00.000+08:00

edmund n li wei

2005-07-12T23:43:00.001+08:00

nxt victim, Brian..

2005-07-12T23:43:00.000+08:00

Katic N Li wei lips to lips

2005-05-07T00:49:00.000+08:00

Playlist: FIR- Ba Ai Fang Kai

Back to blog le. On wed went for my sec school gathering. Really happy to see all my lower sec sch frenz together again. Thought of having a private talk wif my mei but in the end i dunno y we didnt manage to. Maybe i m too busy on the fone or she is busy too? GOD noes. Anyway, it ended everyone being happy, HOPE so.

Dad came to fetch me n news frm yang came. Have been waiting for his news the whole nite. Went to HQ at 2 n didnt get his news till around midnight. Though we knew tt he has no more choice but to go in liao but we r still hoping for the better. There's two choices for him, probation or 3 yrs in RTC. Bathe le went out meet yang joined by kiang, sherwin, li wei, yan xing n wei sheng. Sat there talking n imagine 6 big boys playing crocodile at playground in the middle of the nite? Didnt manage to slp at all tt nite. Yang going to court at 9. Reached hm at around 5 then 6 plus go out again. Had our breakfast before heading to the court.

Waited till 11+, onli his mum n sis came out n told us tt yang was being brought to another court room n has to wait till 3 in the afternoon for the verdict. I cant wait as i haf to work in the evening. Sherwin, li wei n kiang were so tired. So we went back after getting his sis number. Didnt haf any news frm him till 11++. everyone was very worried. Yan xing n li wei kept calling me n ask. In the end, li wei called n said tt he is in the lockup for 18 days as yang's nxt court session will be 3 weeks later. So it means tt I cant see yang for another 18 days. He asked me to return things to shan but hp is still wif him. HP bills for geradine but how m i going to get into his hse to get it.

Going to visit him wif the guys tml. Hope he is not suffering inside.. Miss him.. Imagine.. Everyday whenever we r bored, we will come out n slack till nite together. In the middle of the nite if any one of us cant get to slp, we will call each other to tok. Got cig share together. Send gers to work or home oso go togehter. But such days r gone now. Even shan oso say so. Nobody can send her to work n home after work now. Haiz...